2010 NBA Finals Game 7: Play By Play
Back by popular demand, the play by play. And I'm too afraid not to do it because then I'll feel like it's my fault if we lose.
We're back here in the den except we traded Mom for my sister/Simple Scott's wife, Genna.
Update on Simple Scott: Too scared to wear the Beat L.A. shirt. Still wearing green. He looks like the Jolly Green Giant (he's 6'4'', nobody in my immediate family cracks 5'8'', not fair. Family pictures are funny though).
Tough decision for what to watch during the pre-game: Greece/Nigeria replay or U.S. Open coverage? We're opting for U.S. Open coverage.
Commercial. Ok, time for the game. 5:55 p.m.
Christina Aguilera? Is this Game 6? Let's hope so.
They just showed Farmar dunking on Garnett. I got really happy all of a sudden. Did I mention he's Jewish? And Bar Mitzvahed?
Dad: "Even Phil has his game face on." Between that and Kobe's entrance, my confidence is soaring. Ok, maybe it's the after-effect of the Farmar dunk.
But in all seriousness, I was speaking with my lawyer who represents some NBA players and he brought up something that makes every Lakers fan feel all warm and fuzzy inside. There is not one player in the league you'd rather have tonight than Kobe. I know that storyline's been played up already, but there's a reason for it. Kobe's a winner, the only guy in this series to look like an MVP. All we need is a decent output out of Artest and this is in the bag.
Last thought: How does Boston adjust to the Lakers' not guarding Rondo? Do they revamp their offense and go four corners, giving Rondo a running start against Kobe? That could work but it would take the other four guys out of their rhythm. The only way Boston wins is if this becomes a track meet. Just as it happened in the Phoenix series, the Lakers have this one figured out.
Game time.
FIRST QUARTER
*BP COMMERCIAL!!! MORE WASTED MONEY!!!
Ok, game time for real.
11:49: I'm in a Derek Fisher jersey. Lauren: "You have to wear a shirt under that."
11:35: Bynum gets rejected by his own hand.
11:25: Under looking good again. Rondo turns it over.
11:00: Ron Artest does three plie's with the ball then passes the ball off the rim to Fisher.
10:56: Fish!
10:55: Yes, exclamation points are back.
10:30: Rasheed posting up Pau. Lauren: "I like this matchup." Sheed for two.
10:00: Eight missed layups by Pau and Bynum, Pau finally for two. 5-2 Lake Show.
9:40: 2004 Sheed for two. 5-4 Lakers.
9:19: Pau gets fouled on a layup. Dad: "YOU'RE SEVEN FEET TALL! DUNK IT! YOU'RE KILLING ME!"
8:37: Ray Allen with his 1,000th push off.
8:32: Sheed bricks a three to the delight of every Lakers fan. I hope he shoots that every possession.
8:07: Rasheed slide tackles Kobe, no foul. Nigerian soccer player gets red carded on the play.
7:43: Simple Scott: "Rondo already has more layups than he had all of last game."
7:26: Fisher does his Sasha impersonation with an air ball.
7:12: Earth rotates leads to Pau falling down.
6:11: Garnett passes to Danny Moloshok. Unfortunately for Garnett, Danny Moloshok is my good friend in photographers' row.
Commercial.
Me: "Why can you wear a jersey and not me?"
Lauren: "Because I'm a female and don't have hair all over my body . . . It's true."
Chris Jericho has a television show. Not a good sign for society.
Vegas odds just in: Paul Pierce and Rondo are -120 to fake a leg injury on the same play. No odds on involvement of wheelchairs.
5:49: Rondo misses layup. Scott: "Oh no, not again."
5:35: Artest shoots. My inner monologue: "Oh no, not again."
Kendrick Perkins' watch.
4:40: Ray Ray for three.
4:15: Ray Ray and Ron Ron play hot potato.
3:58: Pau's hair flopping around. Not good.
3:45: Garnett dunk. Not good.
3:14: Big Baby levitates 6 inches off the ground for 2.5 seconds. 17-13 Celtics.
Fish jersey not getting it done. Off with it. Farmar jersey in full effect.
Scott amazed Drake CD is not good. Yes, he's a Celtics fan.
Paul Pierce fakes an injury during interview. Facial hair still not connecting. Hair line running away from his nose.
2:56: Kobe missed a free throw. I may have to watch the game naked.
2:27: Pierce falls down. Charge on Pau.
2:10: Pierce for 2. 19-14 Celtics. Sheed coming back in not a second too soon.
1:20: Garnett called for a foul with the suplex attempt on Odom.
Shelden Williams' forehead needs to be in the game.
:50.0: Pierce passes to Robinson's shins. Didn't know you could throw it too low for him.
Sorry, giving directions to delivery guy. Lakers down too many.
Lauren: "Nobody likes the East Coast."
Scott: "I do."
Lauren: "Then go back."
SECOND QUARTER
11:38: Kobe. We're down 7.
11:21: Bad sign, Sheed rebounds over Bynum. Knee's still dead.
10:05: Farmar expertly misses one off the back iron to Ron Ron for a layup. 23-19 Celtics. Timeout Green People.
9:24: Lakers miss many shots. Sasha, please make your way back to your seat.
8:30: Tie Game! Scott leaves the room.
8:06: Garnett, you do NOT run over they guy sitting next to Jack. Van Gundy yelling about something.
7:35: Kobe almost and-one moves one then Artest for two.
7:02: Celtics finally score. 25-25.
6:42: Artest and Ray Ray exchange misses to guarantee the under.
5:59: No points. If the game goes to triple-OT, will the over hit?
Did you know Grown Ups comes out June 25th?
5:17: Lakers down two. Compubox numbers not looking good.
4:53: Garnett picks up his third foul for punching Kobe in the face.
4:14: Both teams apparently playing basketball. Score not moving.
2:58: First explitive out of Lauren toward the refs. Teams still not scoring. 31-29 Celtics. Mike Breen calls this, "battling."
Highlight of the game: Leonardo DiCaprio with a UCLA hat.
1:22: Scott can't figure out defense chant. Teams pretend fighting. Celtics by 7. Double techincals on Ron Ron and Pierce. Attention Ron Ron: PLEASE get another double tech.
:43.6: Scott complaining. Lauren to Genna: "Divorce."
:34.1: Pierce draws a foul on Bynum for breathing. Fisher enjoying the game in his $50,000 seat. SCALABRINE!!!
Nate Robinson laughing at Scalabrine.
0:00: 40-34 Celtics. Game 7 cancelled. Championship awarded to 1998 Bulls a second time.
Halftime almost over. Did Game 7 start yet?
Scott's analysis: "Doris has Joker scars."
THIRD QUARTER
11:26: Teams exchanged baskets. Rudin household not convinced.
10:25: And one for Garnett. Garnett hits self.
9:45: Rondo for two. 47-36 Celtics. Even Phil Jackson calls timeout here. Not sure I'm even upset because this even a basketball game.
Genna with her first contribution: "I feel like I'm watching the WNBA." To paraphrase the next comment: This is lower scoring than soccer.
9:19: Kobe misses again.
8:53: Pierce falls down again. Charge on Artest.
Lauren about Pierce: "I don't even think you can call him a woman because I could do that. He's less than a woman."
8:15: Pierce fouls Kobe. Pierce fakes shoulder injury. I lost my bet.
7:43: Gasol dives for the ball. No fake injury.
7:31: Jersey almost off. Kobe for two. I look like a turtle.
6:55: Lakers actually run the triangle. Gasol for two.
5:56: ABC can't figure out which stat to run. This just in according to them: Fish has 4 rings.
5:38: Lamar with the follow. Genna making fun of the Kardashians.
5:16: Paul Pierce back in the game. Shoulder ok for those concerned.
5:01: Sheed air ball. Me likey.
4:45: Pierce for three. Scott yells, "The Truth!" They're cuddling later.
4:20: Kobe misses again.
3:47: Odom goes left for a layup. Celtics scout fired.
3:07: Garnett flops. Kobe for two. 5 for 20.
2:37: Pau's hair draws a foul on Rasheed after blocking Garnett on the other end (we're ignoring the non-foul call here). Pau can cut it to 5. Fish to the locker room. Farmar jersey off. We're rocking the beater.
2:12: Shannon Brown draws a foul for slapping the ball as Rondo goes up. This because Kobe passed the ball to the other team. MVP trophy being re-ingraved.
2:07: Ron Ron steals ball from Big Baby like he . . . oh nevermind. Artest later dribbles out of bounds. This is still being ruled a basketball game.
1:24: Big Baby drools on Pau. Foul called.
:27.4: Artest misses three. 57-53. This is the third quarter. SCALABRINE!!! Or as he's also known as, Will Ferrell as Jackie Moon in Semi-Pro.
:03.4: Scalabrine doesn't beat shot clock but still throws ball off top of backboard.
0:00: 57-53 Celtics. We still can't believe this game actually counts.
Highlight #2: Pietrus fixing that guy's hair in the "Thank you fans" commercial. Never gets old.
FOURTH QUARTER
Just noticed that there's way more commentary during the first quarter. That's because the teams actually played basketball in the first six minutes.
Phil limited to one question because Doris can't understand answer.
Kobe has to hit his next 11 shots to get to 50%.
11:43: And one for Pau! The giraffe is ALIVE! Misses free throw. Um . . .
11:20: Pierce tries to win MVP, throws the ball to the press table.
11:07: Just noticed Sasha's in the game because he missed the rim on a layup.
10:58: Kobe misses. 5 for 21. Needs to hit next 12.
10:42: Sasha trying to give Slovenia momentum for tomorrow's soccer game.
10:12: Garnett hacks Artest on breakaway. Refs fall asleep, don't make the call. It's ok, he can't shoot free throws.
9:54: Kobe gets blocking foul after giving ball to wrong team.
Dad: "Everybody sucks." Room wondering whether either team hits 70.
I never pictured Mr. Pitt from Seinfeld doing a Modern Warfare videogame ad.
Gene Hackman's definitely more motivating than Doc Rivers. Speaking of which, can we sign and trade Bynum for Jimmy Chitwood effective immediately.
8:46: Kobe fouled on three pointer. Most subdued MVP chant I've heard at Staples Center in years.
Nate Robinson's neck tattoo just got a neck tattoo.
8:46: Kobe hits all three, juts his lower jaw out. Good times coming.
8:24: Ray Ray makes it rain. 61-58 Celtics.
8:03: Ron Ron thinks he's allowed to shoot.
7:29: Ron Ron with the and one! Keep shooting! We always believed in you here at RW! 61-61! Ron Ron just took a leg off a press table and stabbed someone!
7:13: Me: "Has Ray Ray missed a FT all series?" Brick. Scott silent. 62-61 Celtics.
6:54: Pau cries then falls down.
6:49: Foul on Sheed. Lauren: "Go crazy!" Pau misses free throw to continue streak of un-clutch shooting. Shelden Williams' forehead high-fives Rasheed. Pau misses second FT.
6:29: Genna: "I'd rather be at temple."
6:13: FISH!!! 64-64. Over/under Fish updates from my friends on Facebook right now: 78.
5:56: Timeout on the floor. Kobe to the line when we come back. Genna's contribution: "Kobe spelled backwards is Ebok." She's still better than Van Gundy.
Food making it's comeback at the wrong time. Scott announces I'm playing the "rectal vuvuzela."
5:56: Kobe knocks 'em down. 66-64 Lakers.
5:37: Ray Ray off. Time for a run!
5:22: KOBE! 68-64.
Lauren picks this point in time to start quoting D2: "You lost it for yourself. Let's go shake their hands." Keep in mind she's saying this with a bad Finnish accent.
Charles says, "trrble" for the 40th time tonight.
5:01: Lakers defense with some serious rotation. Pierce bricks three.
4:38: Pau throws ball 30 feet in the air. Ref loses track of time and blows whistle on Garnett for making it happen. 70-64 Lakers.
4:19: Lakers switch all screens. Ray Ray blows by Gasol and bricks wide open layup.
3:43: Pierce with a big bucket to keep it a game. 70-66 Lake Show.
3:21: Kobe tries to bang on Pierce, gets a nice playoff foul from Pierce. Kobe misses first free throw. ABC showing Perkins for some reason. Perkins looks like he just spent half an hour on the can. Kobe with the second. 71-66 Lakers.
3:09: Garnett wide open dunk. Lakers taking a play off.
2:47: Pau gets a foul on Garnett with the upfake.
Dad doing an awesome Jamaican/Scottish accent. He and Genna calling Kobe, "Ebok" now. Dad and Genna explain that accent is how "Ebok" would talk if he was a real person. No drugs involved. Scary.
2:47: Pau with both free throws.
2:28: Sheed with the brick.
2:20: Pierce falls down with Pau. They're auditioning to be each other's partners on Dancing With The Stars.
2:14: Artest fouls Pierce 40 feet from the basket. Not sure about the call, but still.
1:56: Lamar bricks three, Celtics doubling Kobe at all times.
1:50: Sheed almost takes out people at courtside after Pau blocks Pierce.
1:30: Pau double pumps and knocks down the jumper over three guys.
1:23: Set play for a Sheed three. And he hits? 76-73 Lakers.
1:01: Ron Ron for three! Blows kisses to the crowd!
51.3: Ray Ray for three. Teams playing basketball. 79-76 Lakers.
:25.7: Kobe brick. Pau with the board. Kobe goes to the rim instead of waiting the clock out. Sheed fouls out. Kobe knocks down both free throws. 81-76 Lakers. My dog Ace decides to come bring me his ball to play. 25.7 more seconds Ace.
Guy with black silk shirt and giant gold chain plus fake tan to boot behind commentators is just amazing. The NBA, where that guy happens.
:16.2: Rondo hits a three off of Allen's miss. 81-79 Lakers.
Genna decides Rajon is a stupid name. Lauren says: "He should be in the Lion King."
Phil seems to think Sasha can shoot free throws. He's in the game.
:11.7: Celtics foul Sasha. The room here is quiet. Sasha fixes eyebrows. Phil can't even watch. First one . . . swish. Second one . . . swish! Like butter! 83-79 Lakers. Sasha showing crowd he plays for Lakers by pumping his jersey out. Kobe looks like he almost had an aneurysm having to watch Sasha shoot free throws in clutch time.
0:05: Rondo misses. Rebound to Pau . . . Lamar chucks the ball up in the air . . .
0:00: LAKERS WIN!!! BACK TO BACK!!!
Kobe and Ron Artest do the touchdown celebration from Tecmo Bowl.
Adam Morrison crying like Jordan Farmer just stole the ball from him and passed it to Luc Richard M'bah a Moute to beat Gonzaga.
Kobe doing his Dwyane Wade impression on the table.
Phil gets #11. Wow.
Ron Artest has a title. LeBron James has none.
Pau's crying. Lauren in Pau voice, "ooh, I got so many bruises."
Ron Artest thanks everybody in his hood, has arm around Doris. Ron thanks his psychiatrist for helping him relax. Ron has a single called "Champion" coming out. He hugs Doris. That was awesome. I think we'll end it there.
Thanks to the RW faithful. On to Team USA game tomorrow and the U.S. Open this weekend.
We're back here in the den except we traded Mom for my sister/Simple Scott's wife, Genna.
Update on Simple Scott: Too scared to wear the Beat L.A. shirt. Still wearing green. He looks like the Jolly Green Giant (he's 6'4'', nobody in my immediate family cracks 5'8'', not fair. Family pictures are funny though).
Tough decision for what to watch during the pre-game: Greece/Nigeria replay or U.S. Open coverage? We're opting for U.S. Open coverage.
Commercial. Ok, time for the game. 5:55 p.m.
Christina Aguilera? Is this Game 6? Let's hope so.
They just showed Farmar dunking on Garnett. I got really happy all of a sudden. Did I mention he's Jewish? And Bar Mitzvahed?
Dad: "Even Phil has his game face on." Between that and Kobe's entrance, my confidence is soaring. Ok, maybe it's the after-effect of the Farmar dunk.
But in all seriousness, I was speaking with my lawyer who represents some NBA players and he brought up something that makes every Lakers fan feel all warm and fuzzy inside. There is not one player in the league you'd rather have tonight than Kobe. I know that storyline's been played up already, but there's a reason for it. Kobe's a winner, the only guy in this series to look like an MVP. All we need is a decent output out of Artest and this is in the bag.
Last thought: How does Boston adjust to the Lakers' not guarding Rondo? Do they revamp their offense and go four corners, giving Rondo a running start against Kobe? That could work but it would take the other four guys out of their rhythm. The only way Boston wins is if this becomes a track meet. Just as it happened in the Phoenix series, the Lakers have this one figured out.
Game time.
FIRST QUARTER
*BP COMMERCIAL!!! MORE WASTED MONEY!!!
Ok, game time for real.
11:49: I'm in a Derek Fisher jersey. Lauren: "You have to wear a shirt under that."
11:35: Bynum gets rejected by his own hand.
11:25: Under looking good again. Rondo turns it over.
11:00: Ron Artest does three plie's with the ball then passes the ball off the rim to Fisher.
10:56: Fish!
10:55: Yes, exclamation points are back.
10:30: Rasheed posting up Pau. Lauren: "I like this matchup." Sheed for two.
10:00: Eight missed layups by Pau and Bynum, Pau finally for two. 5-2 Lake Show.
9:40: 2004 Sheed for two. 5-4 Lakers.
9:19: Pau gets fouled on a layup. Dad: "YOU'RE SEVEN FEET TALL! DUNK IT! YOU'RE KILLING ME!"
8:37: Ray Allen with his 1,000th push off.
8:32: Sheed bricks a three to the delight of every Lakers fan. I hope he shoots that every possession.
8:07: Rasheed slide tackles Kobe, no foul. Nigerian soccer player gets red carded on the play.
7:43: Simple Scott: "Rondo already has more layups than he had all of last game."
7:26: Fisher does his Sasha impersonation with an air ball.
7:12: Earth rotates leads to Pau falling down.
6:11: Garnett passes to Danny Moloshok. Unfortunately for Garnett, Danny Moloshok is my good friend in photographers' row.
Commercial.
Me: "Why can you wear a jersey and not me?"
Lauren: "Because I'm a female and don't have hair all over my body . . . It's true."
Chris Jericho has a television show. Not a good sign for society.
Vegas odds just in: Paul Pierce and Rondo are -120 to fake a leg injury on the same play. No odds on involvement of wheelchairs.
5:49: Rondo misses layup. Scott: "Oh no, not again."
5:35: Artest shoots. My inner monologue: "Oh no, not again."
Kendrick Perkins' watch.
4:40: Ray Ray for three.
4:15: Ray Ray and Ron Ron play hot potato.
3:58: Pau's hair flopping around. Not good.
3:45: Garnett dunk. Not good.
3:14: Big Baby levitates 6 inches off the ground for 2.5 seconds. 17-13 Celtics.
Fish jersey not getting it done. Off with it. Farmar jersey in full effect.
Scott amazed Drake CD is not good. Yes, he's a Celtics fan.
Paul Pierce fakes an injury during interview. Facial hair still not connecting. Hair line running away from his nose.
2:56: Kobe missed a free throw. I may have to watch the game naked.
2:27: Pierce falls down. Charge on Pau.
2:10: Pierce for 2. 19-14 Celtics. Sheed coming back in not a second too soon.
1:20: Garnett called for a foul with the suplex attempt on Odom.
Shelden Williams' forehead needs to be in the game.
:50.0: Pierce passes to Robinson's shins. Didn't know you could throw it too low for him.
Sorry, giving directions to delivery guy. Lakers down too many.
Lauren: "Nobody likes the East Coast."
Scott: "I do."
Lauren: "Then go back."
SECOND QUARTER
11:38: Kobe. We're down 7.
11:21: Bad sign, Sheed rebounds over Bynum. Knee's still dead.
10:05: Farmar expertly misses one off the back iron to Ron Ron for a layup. 23-19 Celtics. Timeout Green People.
9:24: Lakers miss many shots. Sasha, please make your way back to your seat.
8:30: Tie Game! Scott leaves the room.
8:06: Garnett, you do NOT run over they guy sitting next to Jack. Van Gundy yelling about something.
7:35: Kobe almost and-one moves one then Artest for two.
7:02: Celtics finally score. 25-25.
6:42: Artest and Ray Ray exchange misses to guarantee the under.
5:59: No points. If the game goes to triple-OT, will the over hit?
Did you know Grown Ups comes out June 25th?
5:17: Lakers down two. Compubox numbers not looking good.
4:53: Garnett picks up his third foul for punching Kobe in the face.
4:14: Both teams apparently playing basketball. Score not moving.
2:58: First explitive out of Lauren toward the refs. Teams still not scoring. 31-29 Celtics. Mike Breen calls this, "battling."
Highlight of the game: Leonardo DiCaprio with a UCLA hat.
1:22: Scott can't figure out defense chant. Teams pretend fighting. Celtics by 7. Double techincals on Ron Ron and Pierce. Attention Ron Ron: PLEASE get another double tech.
:43.6: Scott complaining. Lauren to Genna: "Divorce."
:34.1: Pierce draws a foul on Bynum for breathing. Fisher enjoying the game in his $50,000 seat. SCALABRINE!!!
Nate Robinson laughing at Scalabrine.
0:00: 40-34 Celtics. Game 7 cancelled. Championship awarded to 1998 Bulls a second time.
Halftime almost over. Did Game 7 start yet?
Scott's analysis: "Doris has Joker scars."
THIRD QUARTER
11:26: Teams exchanged baskets. Rudin household not convinced.
10:25: And one for Garnett. Garnett hits self.
9:45: Rondo for two. 47-36 Celtics. Even Phil Jackson calls timeout here. Not sure I'm even upset because this even a basketball game.
Genna with her first contribution: "I feel like I'm watching the WNBA." To paraphrase the next comment: This is lower scoring than soccer.
9:19: Kobe misses again.
8:53: Pierce falls down again. Charge on Artest.
Lauren about Pierce: "I don't even think you can call him a woman because I could do that. He's less than a woman."
8:15: Pierce fouls Kobe. Pierce fakes shoulder injury. I lost my bet.
7:43: Gasol dives for the ball. No fake injury.
7:31: Jersey almost off. Kobe for two. I look like a turtle.
6:55: Lakers actually run the triangle. Gasol for two.
5:56: ABC can't figure out which stat to run. This just in according to them: Fish has 4 rings.
5:38: Lamar with the follow. Genna making fun of the Kardashians.
5:16: Paul Pierce back in the game. Shoulder ok for those concerned.
5:01: Sheed air ball. Me likey.
4:45: Pierce for three. Scott yells, "The Truth!" They're cuddling later.
4:20: Kobe misses again.
3:47: Odom goes left for a layup. Celtics scout fired.
3:07: Garnett flops. Kobe for two. 5 for 20.
2:37: Pau's hair draws a foul on Rasheed after blocking Garnett on the other end (we're ignoring the non-foul call here). Pau can cut it to 5. Fish to the locker room. Farmar jersey off. We're rocking the beater.
2:12: Shannon Brown draws a foul for slapping the ball as Rondo goes up. This because Kobe passed the ball to the other team. MVP trophy being re-ingraved.
2:07: Ron Ron steals ball from Big Baby like he . . . oh nevermind. Artest later dribbles out of bounds. This is still being ruled a basketball game.
1:24: Big Baby drools on Pau. Foul called.
:27.4: Artest misses three. 57-53. This is the third quarter. SCALABRINE!!! Or as he's also known as, Will Ferrell as Jackie Moon in Semi-Pro.
:03.4: Scalabrine doesn't beat shot clock but still throws ball off top of backboard.
0:00: 57-53 Celtics. We still can't believe this game actually counts.
Highlight #2: Pietrus fixing that guy's hair in the "Thank you fans" commercial. Never gets old.
FOURTH QUARTER
Just noticed that there's way more commentary during the first quarter. That's because the teams actually played basketball in the first six minutes.
Phil limited to one question because Doris can't understand answer.
Kobe has to hit his next 11 shots to get to 50%.
11:43: And one for Pau! The giraffe is ALIVE! Misses free throw. Um . . .
11:20: Pierce tries to win MVP, throws the ball to the press table.
11:07: Just noticed Sasha's in the game because he missed the rim on a layup.
10:58: Kobe misses. 5 for 21. Needs to hit next 12.
10:42: Sasha trying to give Slovenia momentum for tomorrow's soccer game.
10:12: Garnett hacks Artest on breakaway. Refs fall asleep, don't make the call. It's ok, he can't shoot free throws.
9:54: Kobe gets blocking foul after giving ball to wrong team.
Dad: "Everybody sucks." Room wondering whether either team hits 70.
I never pictured Mr. Pitt from Seinfeld doing a Modern Warfare videogame ad.
Gene Hackman's definitely more motivating than Doc Rivers. Speaking of which, can we sign and trade Bynum for Jimmy Chitwood effective immediately.
8:46: Kobe fouled on three pointer. Most subdued MVP chant I've heard at Staples Center in years.
Nate Robinson's neck tattoo just got a neck tattoo.
8:46: Kobe hits all three, juts his lower jaw out. Good times coming.
8:24: Ray Ray makes it rain. 61-58 Celtics.
8:03: Ron Ron thinks he's allowed to shoot.
7:29: Ron Ron with the and one! Keep shooting! We always believed in you here at RW! 61-61! Ron Ron just took a leg off a press table and stabbed someone!
7:13: Me: "Has Ray Ray missed a FT all series?" Brick. Scott silent. 62-61 Celtics.
6:54: Pau cries then falls down.
6:49: Foul on Sheed. Lauren: "Go crazy!" Pau misses free throw to continue streak of un-clutch shooting. Shelden Williams' forehead high-fives Rasheed. Pau misses second FT.
6:29: Genna: "I'd rather be at temple."
6:13: FISH!!! 64-64. Over/under Fish updates from my friends on Facebook right now: 78.
5:56: Timeout on the floor. Kobe to the line when we come back. Genna's contribution: "Kobe spelled backwards is Ebok." She's still better than Van Gundy.
Food making it's comeback at the wrong time. Scott announces I'm playing the "rectal vuvuzela."
5:56: Kobe knocks 'em down. 66-64 Lakers.
5:37: Ray Ray off. Time for a run!
5:22: KOBE! 68-64.
Lauren picks this point in time to start quoting D2: "You lost it for yourself. Let's go shake their hands." Keep in mind she's saying this with a bad Finnish accent.
Charles says, "trrble" for the 40th time tonight.
5:01: Lakers defense with some serious rotation. Pierce bricks three.
4:38: Pau throws ball 30 feet in the air. Ref loses track of time and blows whistle on Garnett for making it happen. 70-64 Lakers.
4:19: Lakers switch all screens. Ray Ray blows by Gasol and bricks wide open layup.
3:43: Pierce with a big bucket to keep it a game. 70-66 Lake Show.
3:21: Kobe tries to bang on Pierce, gets a nice playoff foul from Pierce. Kobe misses first free throw. ABC showing Perkins for some reason. Perkins looks like he just spent half an hour on the can. Kobe with the second. 71-66 Lakers.
3:09: Garnett wide open dunk. Lakers taking a play off.
2:47: Pau gets a foul on Garnett with the upfake.
Dad doing an awesome Jamaican/Scottish accent. He and Genna calling Kobe, "Ebok" now. Dad and Genna explain that accent is how "Ebok" would talk if he was a real person. No drugs involved. Scary.
2:47: Pau with both free throws.
2:28: Sheed with the brick.
2:20: Pierce falls down with Pau. They're auditioning to be each other's partners on Dancing With The Stars.
2:14: Artest fouls Pierce 40 feet from the basket. Not sure about the call, but still.
1:56: Lamar bricks three, Celtics doubling Kobe at all times.
1:50: Sheed almost takes out people at courtside after Pau blocks Pierce.
1:30: Pau double pumps and knocks down the jumper over three guys.
1:23: Set play for a Sheed three. And he hits? 76-73 Lakers.
1:01: Ron Ron for three! Blows kisses to the crowd!
51.3: Ray Ray for three. Teams playing basketball. 79-76 Lakers.
:25.7: Kobe brick. Pau with the board. Kobe goes to the rim instead of waiting the clock out. Sheed fouls out. Kobe knocks down both free throws. 81-76 Lakers. My dog Ace decides to come bring me his ball to play. 25.7 more seconds Ace.
Guy with black silk shirt and giant gold chain plus fake tan to boot behind commentators is just amazing. The NBA, where that guy happens.
:16.2: Rondo hits a three off of Allen's miss. 81-79 Lakers.
Genna decides Rajon is a stupid name. Lauren says: "He should be in the Lion King."
Phil seems to think Sasha can shoot free throws. He's in the game.
:11.7: Celtics foul Sasha. The room here is quiet. Sasha fixes eyebrows. Phil can't even watch. First one . . . swish. Second one . . . swish! Like butter! 83-79 Lakers. Sasha showing crowd he plays for Lakers by pumping his jersey out. Kobe looks like he almost had an aneurysm having to watch Sasha shoot free throws in clutch time.
0:05: Rondo misses. Rebound to Pau . . . Lamar chucks the ball up in the air . . .
0:00: LAKERS WIN!!! BACK TO BACK!!!
Kobe and Ron Artest do the touchdown celebration from Tecmo Bowl.
Adam Morrison crying like Jordan Farmer just stole the ball from him and passed it to Luc Richard M'bah a Moute to beat Gonzaga.
Kobe doing his Dwyane Wade impression on the table.
Phil gets #11. Wow.
Ron Artest has a title. LeBron James has none.
Pau's crying. Lauren in Pau voice, "ooh, I got so many bruises."
Ron Artest thanks everybody in his hood, has arm around Doris. Ron thanks his psychiatrist for helping him relax. Ron has a single called "Champion" coming out. He hugs Doris. That was awesome. I think we'll end it there.
Thanks to the RW faithful. On to Team USA game tomorrow and the U.S. Open this weekend.
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