I was watching the Dodgers game last night and a fear started building in my gut midway through the game.  It's a fear that I recognized.  It felt so familiar, like I grew up with it.  And then I remembered, it was that fear that set in when I knew the Dodgers had no prayer.  I had gotten so used to it that it turned into apathy in the late '90s through to a couple of years ago, but then Manny came and made me believe. 

Now?  Manny's gone.  I know he's still physically there and you can see him, but the myth of Manny is gone.  The guy that opposing pitchers pitched around and the guy that made our entire lineup better is a distant memory.  Now we're stuck with a Dodgers team that is dead in the water if it goes down 3-0 in the fourth inning.  Way back when, or a year ago (it feels like way back when now), Dodgers fans had faith in the Dodgers bats.  I know that we have some clutch hitters like Ethier in there that help us win 1-run games, but I'm talking about the ability to come back from big holes early.  I'm talking about the ability to go up 6-0 early in the game and cruise to the finish.  That team is nowhere to be found.  What's left is the team that I've rooted for ever since the '88 title.  The team that wins with pitching and little else.

Now don't get me wrong, I love Kemp and Ethier, but there's just this feeling that comes over me when we're down 3-1 in the seventh inning.  It's this feeling that we have zero chance at winning because I've seen the pathetic finish so many times before.  Our last 5 guys k'd last night and it felt like I'd seen it a million times before.  I found myself crossing my fingers for walks and mishaps by the other team, not thinking things like, "three batters til Manny.  Rafa will get on.  Kemp will too.  Manny can drive them in!"  No, now I'm thinking things like, "how about a couple of walks, maybe a groundout, then we can get a sac fly and cut the lead in half."  What's worse?  I'm not sure what you do about it.

I was thinking about what would happen if we played Pierre instead of Manny but that just won't happen.  Even if it made sense, the volcano that would erupt inside the clubhouse with a pissed off Manny would just rip the team apart.  Think Jeff Kent three years ago only multiply the maleffects by 1,000.  So what do you do?  My bright idea was batting Matt Kemp behind Manny to give him protection, thinking that was the problem in having Blake batting cleanup.  Well, that didn't work, so we're back to square one.

Here's the main issue.  While we suffered through years of inept offense as Dodgers fans, we always had exceptional pitching, and while that should be the case now, I'm still not certain I'm okay with our hurlers.  Billingsley looks scared.  Kershaw's hopefully ok.  Kuroda just got lit up in Pittsburgh.  Wolf was injured.  Garland has been a pleasant surprise but I'm not counting on him when it counts, and then there's the Padilla Floatilla.  Um, yeah.  The bullpen has been great but Broxton and his toe that stands under 300 lbs. have been shaky at best.

All in all, I'm not saying the Dodgers will blow it and miss the playoffs, but I have no confidence heading into the playoffs.  So here's your best case scenario.  I think the Dodgers need to get to the brink, feel that fear, and then come through.  They need to get the young guys feeling brash again.  Have them thinking there's nothing to lose because that's when the Dodgers have been at their best.  They've been great when Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier have come through when people least expected it.  So I ask, has there been another time this season when Dodgers fans would less expect big things out of the Dodgers bats?  Every Dodgers game right now I think starts with fans hoping for a 2-1 win.  We need the Dodgers to come out of this funk with one of those 11-2 victories, not a gutty 2-1 close one.  Dodgers fans have been down the road of gutty 2-1 victories.  It leads to us getting swept in the first round.  Unless Jose Lima's around.  No, we need the Dodgers to come out of this funk all of a sudden like Wild Thing's Indians from Major League.  I don't know what it's going to take.  Jobu will have to get some good rum maybe.  I don't know, but I'm not going to have any kind of confidence if the Dodgers beat the Padres 2-1 to clinch the West because all that means is a date with the Phillies or Cardinals and I don't think you could fault me if I was not all that confident in either of those two matchups. 

So here you go Boys in Blue.  Tonight's your night.  You've got Clayton Richard who's coming off of a rough outing for the Padres.  He's ripe for it.  Come out swinging early.  First pitch hits.  Green lights on 2-0 and 3-0.  Make something happen.  Land that first punch.  Get men on base early and whip em around the bases.  This is no time for complacency.  I want a big win tonight.  I want to forget about the last 20 years and lose that feeling that felt so familiar in the pit of my stomach.  So how about it?