I'm sitting here watching the game on my couch with my Dad.  And while this is my favorite way to watch a game that doesn't involve being there in person, I discovered a place called heaven during Game 1.  My friend Marcus surprised my sister and me and took us to Dodger Stadium during Game 1.  Now I always enjoy Dodgers games but I was a little upset about missing Game 1 since they were simultaneous.  But we didn't miss Game 1 of the Lakers series.  No, we were in a suite between home and third.  So I had one eye on the Lakers game on the flat screen in the suite and my other eye on the Kershaw/Hamels duel.  Not to mention free food and drinks.  We ran out of beer and I was about to go to the concessions stand, but Marcus' brother-in-law just had me call for more via room service.  Amazing, and so were the easily accessible bathrooms right across the hall.  By the time the dessert cart came around I was already having a field day.  Happy times all the way around.  It's nice waiting for traffic to clear by watching Sportscenter in your suite.  I felt like the emperor up there with all the common folk beneath me.  Truly heaven.

I wish the Magic had some players that I hated.  While I'm whole-heartedly rooting for the Lakers, I'm not rooting against the Magic.  If it was the Cavs, I'd be hating them as much as I was loving the Lakers.  But the Magic aren't an unlikeable team.  I love Dwight Howard.  Turkoglu, Lewis, and Pietrus are fun.  Maybe if they suited up Tyronn Lue to run around and annoy people I'd get into it.  The very thought of Dhantay Jones annoyed me last series but for some reason I just can't hate the Magic. 

Will Adam Morrison cry if the Lakers win or does he reserve his tears for losses in March Madness games?  Does Farmar still clown him about that?

Stan Van Gundy is really really funny looking.

I thought for a minute that I could hate Gortat just because of the whole annoying Euro thing, but he's kind of fun too.  Who hates Poland?  Can we pretend he's French or something?

How old is Adonal Foyle?  58?

Is there a reason we're double-teaming Howard?  I have more post moves than this guy.  It's like Seth Rogen in Knocked Up.  He's doing the dice move too much but it's the only move he's got, and it somehow works.  Makes no sense whatsoever.

How come when I use Axe body spray random hot girls don't come out of the woodwork and throw themselves at me?

They need coverage of LeBron James the first time he saw the puppet ad with him watching the Finals and the little kid puppet clowning him about it.

Taking the under 1.5 three-pointers made by Rafer Alston was like stealing.

Taking the over 6.5 rebounds plus blocks by Bynum was like giving money away.

What's with the Kobe face where he juts out the lower half of his jaw?  Definitely one of the more contrived faces I've seen.  I do love how he blames his teammates for every one of his turnovers though.  It's like when Tiger used to blame Stevie for mis-clubbing him every time he blew a shot.

The Lakers are down 2 with 1:30 left.  There is a 0% chance they lose.

Kobe.

Tie game.

How did every Laker not know that Turkoglu was going to pull up with the shot clock winding down?  He always pulls up.  He never drives.  He gives like 10 jab steps before he even considers driving in that scenario.

My dog Ace has dug a hole about 2 feet deep in the back corner of our backyard.  I think he's digging for oil.  Hey, every bit helps in this economy.

If I gave you the name "Courtney Lee" and showed you his picture next to anybody else's in the world, and said, "which one is named Courtney Lee?" is there any chance you'd choose the right one?  I'm not sure if I phrased that correctly, but you get the gist of it.

How much different would the playoff picture have been with a healthy Kevin Garnett?  Wait, I'm a Laker fan.  Nevermind.  He's probably at home cussing out the wall or something anyway.

Please tell me someone youtubes the moment at the end of regulation with Kobe punching the chair after getting blocked and Phil Jackson watching in his chair smiling.

Tie game, 0.6 left.  Don't put Bynum in!  He will absolutely foul someone.  He's probably trying to commit a foul from the bench.

Nice layup Courtney Lee.  Amazingly diagramed play by Stan Van.  Horrible execution.

This is a little late, but why do they have WNBA ads?  Do they like wasting money?  I thought the NBA was in financial trouble.  That's more irresponsible than giving sub-prime mortgages right now.

I wonder if Magic fans feel the same way about Redick that I do about Vujacic because I'd honestly rather see Kurt Rambis suit up and go out there than see Sasha even think about entertaining a 3.

I just saw caught a glimpse of Ewing on the Magic bench and got confident realizing that these are the Finals.  Ewing's not allowed to have a ring.

Kobe just chest bumped Pau.  I thought for sure Pau would go down.

Do you think Phil listens to Kobe or just mumbles, "mhmm, yup, mhmm, gotcha" everytime Kobe starts talking to him?

Redick made a layup, nevermind what I said before.  He's infinitely more valuable than Sasha.

NBA refs are really really bad.

Pau is one of the best players to emote zero confidence of all time.

The Magic just executed the exact same three-pointer to Lewis that they did last series.  Do the Lakers not have scouts?
 
I am always amazed how high pros get on their jump shots.  Rashard Lewis just got serious air on that fading 3 and it's overtime in the NBA Finals.  These guys are freaks of nature.

Magic miss some three's.  Lakers rebound.  Game over.  2-0.

Courtney Lee's not going to sleep well tonight.  I hope I do.  I was being chased through the streets of Thailand by terrorists last night.  I've never even been to Thailand!  What the crap is that?  Can't I have a nice dream?  Good night.