NFL Power Rankings - Week 12
Have you ever seen a point spread messed with more on a final play than in that Pitt-San Diego game? I would have paid a lot of money to have been in a Vegas sportsbook to watch the range of emotions and the utter chaos. What's the point of instant replay if you're going to get something blatantly wrong after using it? There was nothing resembling a forward lateral. How does that TD not stand? And how about fantasy teams with the Pittsburgh defense? You could bail out the auto industry with all of the money that changed hands on that play. Oh well, on to the Rankings.
32. Detroit Lions (0-10)
Speaking of the auto industry, it's a bad time to be in Detroit. The Pistons' fans will start to realize that while A.I. is great to watch, he's not going to help their team now that they don't have a true point guard anymore. Lions fans, I'm sorry, but Rod Marinelli has entered the Mike Singletary zone. Good luck with Tampa Bay this week.
31. Kansas City Chefs (1-9)
They're starting to look a little better, but they still can't win. They have Buffalo coming to town so maybe Buffalo will gift wrap a game to them like they did to the Browns on Monday night.
30. Oakland Raiders (2-8)
Here's the stat that I took home from last week's game:
Raiders' Defense/Special Teams - 9 points
Raiders' Offense - 6 points
No further comment is necessary.
29. St. Louis Rams (2-8)
Hopefully you weren't turned off by that 6.5-point spread last week and stuck with Operation Bet Against The Rams. By my count, we're at 7-2-1 for the season. They are absolutely inept. Their only hope this week against Chicago is a Rex Grossman sighting.
28. San Francisco 49ers (3-7)
They beat the Rams. That doesn't count. Let's see what happens when they go to Dallas this weekend. To quote Clubber Lang, "my prediction . . . pain."
27. Cincinnati Bengals (1-8-1)
***Caution, soccer reference coming. If you don't care, skip to #26***
Watching that Bengals game was like watching Hull against Manchester City. It was a sloppy game. Both teams made huge mistakes. But because Hull was such an underdog to the new money-spending Man City, both Hull and their fans seemed to be happy with a tie. Until that gift of a roughing the passer call that led to the Shayne Graham attempt, it seemed like Cincy was resigned to its fate and was just happy to be stopping Philadelphia.
Moral of the story: The Bengals are now a bottom tier team that's just happy to be in a game against an upper echelon opponent. Again, how does Marvin Lewis keep his job when this was a playoff team a few years ago?
28. Seattle Seahawks (2-8)
New QB, same team. They still can't block. They still can't play defense. They're still going to keep losing. I don't know that there's much more to say other than they still try at least.
25. Houston Texans (3-7)
They hung in there against the Colts, but they needed a win. The season's now gone for them and it looks as though they're not going to take any more chances and shut Matt Schaub down for the season. Time to focus on NCAA football Texas football fans. I'm not sure they needed the prodding there.
24. Buffalo Bills (5-5)
That was embarrassing. As my friend Charlie put it, Trent Edwards was 6 for his first 7, only three of those completions were to the other team. Thankfully I only had to listen to the first half on the radio. By the way, what's with 1090 AM here in L.A.? They carry all of the Monday Night games but the signal is horrible. Who's in charge of this? It's Monday Night Football. I'd like to hear what's going on despite the gusting 2 MPH winds.
23. Cleveland Browns (4-6)
Despite the fact that Buffalo actively tried to lose that game, you still have to give credit to Cleveland for going into a rowdy stadium and getting a big win. And that game-winning field goal was 56 yards. Not too shabby. I still don't understand Buffalo's settling for a 47-yarder into the wind, but nevertheless, the Browns still have a glimmer of hope as they head home to face Houston.
22. San Diego Chargers (4-6)
A valiant effort by the Chargers in Pittsburgh, but this team was supposed to be capable of more than valiant efforts. Philip Rivers just doesn't look up to the task. Maybe it'll make him a nicer guy.
21. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-6)
It's still tough for me to tell what happened to Jacksonville's defense. They did lose a couple of guys but they just can't stop anybody anymore. Their running game is still better than good. Garrard is fine, but that defense is why they're floundering. Speaking of Flounder, I forgot him in my Character Hall of Fame. You really can't beat Animal House.
20. Minnesota Vikings (5-5)
Late game turnovers. Not being able to stop Tampa Bay's offense. Gus Frerotte. These are the types of flaws that keep teams out of the playoffs. I can't imagine how bad they'd be without AP this year.
19. Chicago Bears (5-5)
Now that was throwing up a stink bomb. There's getting exposed and then there's what the Bears did last week. The defense has lost a step or five and we know about the offense. Pulling Orton for Grossman late in the game was like watching a hockey game where the starting goalie gives up 5 goals in the first two periods and so the team decides to bring in my little sister from the stands and try her out for the last period just to see if she could possibly be worse. This is still Green Bay's division is the moral of the story.
18. New Orleans Saints (5-5)
The Chefs were in that game a little too long for my liking, but the Saints got things done eventually, which is all that matters I guess. They have a real make or break game coming up Monday night against the Packers and I'm not sure their defense will be up to the task.
17. Miami Dolphins (6-4)
Why the 2-spot drop after winning another game? Did you watch? They almost lost to the Raiders. At home. Need I say more? They have New England this week and something tells me that Belichick might have caught on to the Dolphins' schemes by now. A win this week would go a long way toward convincing me.
16. Philadelphia Eagles (5-4-1)
I can't make a straight-face argument for the Eagles anymore. McNabb keeps throwing the ball to the wrong team. Maybe he didn't know that you're supposed to score points. It's in the rule book. Maybe he just thinks you're supposed to gain yards and then turn the ball over. And don't get me started on Andy Reid. They're cooked. My sleeper is done.
15. Denver Broncos (6-4)
That was a big win in Atlanta. That game had the feeling of one of those where whoever has the ball last will win and if Roddy White had caught the ball it would have been, but the Broncos did stop the Falcons and looked fairly impressive doing it on that last series. Maybe this is the sign of a change.
14. Washington Redskins (6-4)
Why did they stop running the ball? Unless Clinton Portis told them he was hurt in the fourth quarter (and that was never reported, so I'm assuming he didn't), why didn't they just keep running the ball inside? Jason Campbell was getting knocked around like a pinball every time he dropped back. Add to that the fact that they couldn't stop the run when it mattered, and you get a team that needs to right the ship after being in great position three weeks ago.
13. Baltimore Ravens (6-4)
So much for that vaunted run defense. They have a reeling Philadelphia team coming to town. If their defense doesn't get it together, Westbrook could dismantle them too. The Ravens seem a step slow. How will Flacco handle Jim Johnson's blitz packages?
12. Green Bay Packers (5-5)
One more win and I can justify putting them back into the Top 10 where I think they belong. A win in a rowdy New Orleans Monday Night game will get them rolling into their division games down the stretch. You can't get much better than their performance against Chicago last week.
11. New England Patriots (6-4)
Seriously, is there a team I have less of a read on than the New England Patriots? I hate them. I am almost positive that I've missed every one of their games, seeing as how I've typed that for the last month or two. I'm no longer qualified to comment on them other than to say that I hate Bill Belichick's sweatshirt. BB? What a tool.
10. Arizona Cardinals (7-3)
People are forgetting that the Cardinals don't have to play anyone and almost blew games to the 49ers and Seahawks. I don't see how they cover against the Giants. Isn't Kurt Warner good for 2 or 3 fumbles this week? You know they'll be running short routes to counteract the rush, but at some point, the fumblitis always creeps up. It's like a bad case of herpes. It never goes away.
9. New York Jets (7-3)
That loss against the Raiders is still in my mind. Can you tell that my memory makes me liable to hold a grudge? They're looking good, but I don't see them surviving a road game in Tennessee.
8. Dallas Cowboys (6-4)
Tony Romo doesn't look the same, but with all of that talent around him, he just needs to be decent, and by decent I mean way waaaaaayyy better than Brad Johnson or Brooks Bollinger. Basically, he needs to be Kerry Collins, and I think, even with four fingers, he's capable of that. The one troubling thing to me is that Marion the Barbarian looks less angry this year. He runs out of bounds on his own a lot and avoids contact every now and again, leading me to believe he's possibly nursing an injury or on some new medication.
7. Atlanta Falcons (6-4)
They're entitled to a speed bump. They still looked pretty good and now they get a chance for a big win in the division against Carolina. I'm not sure who to take there but I know I'll be watching.
6. Indianapolis Colts (6-4)
Peyton is looking like Peyton again and Bob Sanders plays 5 positions at once. Does anyone want a piece of this team right now? I wouldn't. If Addai can figure out how to catch the ball, they'll be ready to roll. He has Braylon Edwards disease, not as bad as fumblitis, but still requiring medication.
5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-3)
They came up with the big plays when they needed them and contained AP, which is definitely a good sign of things to come. Now their reward is a visit to Detroit. For the fans in Detroit's sake, can we please bail out the auto industry? They have to deal with the Lions, just throw them a bone.
4. Pittsburgh Steelers (7-3)
They've had a bumpy road too, but here they are, at 7-3, playing tonight with Cincinnati coming off a big tie a la Hull City. Sorry, I threw the soccer reference in there without warning. I think you can understand the Steelers now. As long as Big Ben plays ok, they'll be fine.
3. Carolina Panthers (8-2)
The fluffy schedule is done and now the real games start. It's like the River Wild when they went through the little rapids before getting to the Gauntlet. I know they'll need to play better than they have to get past the Falcons, specifically Delhomme.
2. New York Giants (9-1)
They'll need that pass rush because they don't have the talent to guard Arizona's wide-outs. Fortunately I don't think Kurt Warner will have the time to pick them apart enough to make up for the turnovers that you know are coming.
1. Tennessee Titans (10-0)
I don't like when they fall behind, but it looks like Kerry Collins is capable of bringing them back, even in a hostile atmosphere. Their defense will be tested this week, and you know people will be paying attention with Brett Favre in town. You know who I'm going with.
WEEK 12 PICKS
Pittsburgh -11 vs. Cincinnati
Dallas -10 vs. San Francisco
Philadelphia +1 at Baltimore
Tennessee -5 vs. New York Jets
Buffalo -3 at Kansas City
Jacksonville -2.5 vs. Minnesota
Miami -1 vs. New England
Chicago -7.5 at St. Louis
Houston +3 at Cleveland
Detroit +7.5 vs. Tampa Bay
Denver -9 vs. Oakland
Washington -3.5 at Seattle
New York Giants -3 at Arizona
Atlanta -1 vs. Carolina
Indianapolis +2.5 at San Diego
Green Bay +2.5 at New Orleans
Season: 75-80-5
32. Detroit Lions (0-10)
Speaking of the auto industry, it's a bad time to be in Detroit. The Pistons' fans will start to realize that while A.I. is great to watch, he's not going to help their team now that they don't have a true point guard anymore. Lions fans, I'm sorry, but Rod Marinelli has entered the Mike Singletary zone. Good luck with Tampa Bay this week.
31. Kansas City Chefs (1-9)
They're starting to look a little better, but they still can't win. They have Buffalo coming to town so maybe Buffalo will gift wrap a game to them like they did to the Browns on Monday night.
30. Oakland Raiders (2-8)
Here's the stat that I took home from last week's game:
Raiders' Defense/Special Teams - 9 points
Raiders' Offense - 6 points
No further comment is necessary.
29. St. Louis Rams (2-8)
Hopefully you weren't turned off by that 6.5-point spread last week and stuck with Operation Bet Against The Rams. By my count, we're at 7-2-1 for the season. They are absolutely inept. Their only hope this week against Chicago is a Rex Grossman sighting.
28. San Francisco 49ers (3-7)
They beat the Rams. That doesn't count. Let's see what happens when they go to Dallas this weekend. To quote Clubber Lang, "my prediction . . . pain."
27. Cincinnati Bengals (1-8-1)
***Caution, soccer reference coming. If you don't care, skip to #26***
Watching that Bengals game was like watching Hull against Manchester City. It was a sloppy game. Both teams made huge mistakes. But because Hull was such an underdog to the new money-spending Man City, both Hull and their fans seemed to be happy with a tie. Until that gift of a roughing the passer call that led to the Shayne Graham attempt, it seemed like Cincy was resigned to its fate and was just happy to be stopping Philadelphia.
Moral of the story: The Bengals are now a bottom tier team that's just happy to be in a game against an upper echelon opponent. Again, how does Marvin Lewis keep his job when this was a playoff team a few years ago?
28. Seattle Seahawks (2-8)
New QB, same team. They still can't block. They still can't play defense. They're still going to keep losing. I don't know that there's much more to say other than they still try at least.
25. Houston Texans (3-7)
They hung in there against the Colts, but they needed a win. The season's now gone for them and it looks as though they're not going to take any more chances and shut Matt Schaub down for the season. Time to focus on NCAA football Texas football fans. I'm not sure they needed the prodding there.
24. Buffalo Bills (5-5)
That was embarrassing. As my friend Charlie put it, Trent Edwards was 6 for his first 7, only three of those completions were to the other team. Thankfully I only had to listen to the first half on the radio. By the way, what's with 1090 AM here in L.A.? They carry all of the Monday Night games but the signal is horrible. Who's in charge of this? It's Monday Night Football. I'd like to hear what's going on despite the gusting 2 MPH winds.
23. Cleveland Browns (4-6)
Despite the fact that Buffalo actively tried to lose that game, you still have to give credit to Cleveland for going into a rowdy stadium and getting a big win. And that game-winning field goal was 56 yards. Not too shabby. I still don't understand Buffalo's settling for a 47-yarder into the wind, but nevertheless, the Browns still have a glimmer of hope as they head home to face Houston.
22. San Diego Chargers (4-6)
A valiant effort by the Chargers in Pittsburgh, but this team was supposed to be capable of more than valiant efforts. Philip Rivers just doesn't look up to the task. Maybe it'll make him a nicer guy.
21. Jacksonville Jaguars (4-6)
It's still tough for me to tell what happened to Jacksonville's defense. They did lose a couple of guys but they just can't stop anybody anymore. Their running game is still better than good. Garrard is fine, but that defense is why they're floundering. Speaking of Flounder, I forgot him in my Character Hall of Fame. You really can't beat Animal House.
20. Minnesota Vikings (5-5)
Late game turnovers. Not being able to stop Tampa Bay's offense. Gus Frerotte. These are the types of flaws that keep teams out of the playoffs. I can't imagine how bad they'd be without AP this year.
19. Chicago Bears (5-5)
Now that was throwing up a stink bomb. There's getting exposed and then there's what the Bears did last week. The defense has lost a step or five and we know about the offense. Pulling Orton for Grossman late in the game was like watching a hockey game where the starting goalie gives up 5 goals in the first two periods and so the team decides to bring in my little sister from the stands and try her out for the last period just to see if she could possibly be worse. This is still Green Bay's division is the moral of the story.
18. New Orleans Saints (5-5)
The Chefs were in that game a little too long for my liking, but the Saints got things done eventually, which is all that matters I guess. They have a real make or break game coming up Monday night against the Packers and I'm not sure their defense will be up to the task.
17. Miami Dolphins (6-4)
Why the 2-spot drop after winning another game? Did you watch? They almost lost to the Raiders. At home. Need I say more? They have New England this week and something tells me that Belichick might have caught on to the Dolphins' schemes by now. A win this week would go a long way toward convincing me.
16. Philadelphia Eagles (5-4-1)
I can't make a straight-face argument for the Eagles anymore. McNabb keeps throwing the ball to the wrong team. Maybe he didn't know that you're supposed to score points. It's in the rule book. Maybe he just thinks you're supposed to gain yards and then turn the ball over. And don't get me started on Andy Reid. They're cooked. My sleeper is done.
15. Denver Broncos (6-4)
That was a big win in Atlanta. That game had the feeling of one of those where whoever has the ball last will win and if Roddy White had caught the ball it would have been, but the Broncos did stop the Falcons and looked fairly impressive doing it on that last series. Maybe this is the sign of a change.
14. Washington Redskins (6-4)
Why did they stop running the ball? Unless Clinton Portis told them he was hurt in the fourth quarter (and that was never reported, so I'm assuming he didn't), why didn't they just keep running the ball inside? Jason Campbell was getting knocked around like a pinball every time he dropped back. Add to that the fact that they couldn't stop the run when it mattered, and you get a team that needs to right the ship after being in great position three weeks ago.
13. Baltimore Ravens (6-4)
So much for that vaunted run defense. They have a reeling Philadelphia team coming to town. If their defense doesn't get it together, Westbrook could dismantle them too. The Ravens seem a step slow. How will Flacco handle Jim Johnson's blitz packages?
12. Green Bay Packers (5-5)
One more win and I can justify putting them back into the Top 10 where I think they belong. A win in a rowdy New Orleans Monday Night game will get them rolling into their division games down the stretch. You can't get much better than their performance against Chicago last week.
11. New England Patriots (6-4)
Seriously, is there a team I have less of a read on than the New England Patriots? I hate them. I am almost positive that I've missed every one of their games, seeing as how I've typed that for the last month or two. I'm no longer qualified to comment on them other than to say that I hate Bill Belichick's sweatshirt. BB? What a tool.
10. Arizona Cardinals (7-3)
People are forgetting that the Cardinals don't have to play anyone and almost blew games to the 49ers and Seahawks. I don't see how they cover against the Giants. Isn't Kurt Warner good for 2 or 3 fumbles this week? You know they'll be running short routes to counteract the rush, but at some point, the fumblitis always creeps up. It's like a bad case of herpes. It never goes away.
9. New York Jets (7-3)
That loss against the Raiders is still in my mind. Can you tell that my memory makes me liable to hold a grudge? They're looking good, but I don't see them surviving a road game in Tennessee.
8. Dallas Cowboys (6-4)
Tony Romo doesn't look the same, but with all of that talent around him, he just needs to be decent, and by decent I mean way waaaaaayyy better than Brad Johnson or Brooks Bollinger. Basically, he needs to be Kerry Collins, and I think, even with four fingers, he's capable of that. The one troubling thing to me is that Marion the Barbarian looks less angry this year. He runs out of bounds on his own a lot and avoids contact every now and again, leading me to believe he's possibly nursing an injury or on some new medication.
7. Atlanta Falcons (6-4)
They're entitled to a speed bump. They still looked pretty good and now they get a chance for a big win in the division against Carolina. I'm not sure who to take there but I know I'll be watching.
6. Indianapolis Colts (6-4)
Peyton is looking like Peyton again and Bob Sanders plays 5 positions at once. Does anyone want a piece of this team right now? I wouldn't. If Addai can figure out how to catch the ball, they'll be ready to roll. He has Braylon Edwards disease, not as bad as fumblitis, but still requiring medication.
5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (7-3)
They came up with the big plays when they needed them and contained AP, which is definitely a good sign of things to come. Now their reward is a visit to Detroit. For the fans in Detroit's sake, can we please bail out the auto industry? They have to deal with the Lions, just throw them a bone.
4. Pittsburgh Steelers (7-3)
They've had a bumpy road too, but here they are, at 7-3, playing tonight with Cincinnati coming off a big tie a la Hull City. Sorry, I threw the soccer reference in there without warning. I think you can understand the Steelers now. As long as Big Ben plays ok, they'll be fine.
3. Carolina Panthers (8-2)
The fluffy schedule is done and now the real games start. It's like the River Wild when they went through the little rapids before getting to the Gauntlet. I know they'll need to play better than they have to get past the Falcons, specifically Delhomme.
2. New York Giants (9-1)
They'll need that pass rush because they don't have the talent to guard Arizona's wide-outs. Fortunately I don't think Kurt Warner will have the time to pick them apart enough to make up for the turnovers that you know are coming.
1. Tennessee Titans (10-0)
I don't like when they fall behind, but it looks like Kerry Collins is capable of bringing them back, even in a hostile atmosphere. Their defense will be tested this week, and you know people will be paying attention with Brett Favre in town. You know who I'm going with.
WEEK 12 PICKS
Pittsburgh -11 vs. Cincinnati
Dallas -10 vs. San Francisco
Philadelphia +1 at Baltimore
Tennessee -5 vs. New York Jets
Buffalo -3 at Kansas City
Jacksonville -2.5 vs. Minnesota
Miami -1 vs. New England
Chicago -7.5 at St. Louis
Houston +3 at Cleveland
Detroit +7.5 vs. Tampa Bay
Denver -9 vs. Oakland
Washington -3.5 at Seattle
New York Giants -3 at Arizona
Atlanta -1 vs. Carolina
Indianapolis +2.5 at San Diego
Green Bay +2.5 at New Orleans
Season: 75-80-5
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