Mailbag - October Edition
It's been an interesting month on several fronts. We have an election in a week (did Mark Cuban sponsor the Republican Party? How much free advertising has he gotten with all of these Maverick references? Does this mean that if we amend the Constitution to have a foreign-born person eligible for Presidency that Dirk Nowitski will be running?). There's a World Series going on. The NFL has me completely befuddled. I'm counting the minutes until I get to bet against Penn State in the BCS Championship because apparently nobody else has subscribed to the No Big Ten Teams Allowed In The BCS Championship For At Least 5 Years After Ohio State Proved How Bad That Conference Is By Getting Stomped In Consecutive Years By SEC Teams theory. And finally, I promise no mention of the economy in this Mailbag, so now you have no reason to turn away.
Q: What do you think about those Giants now Rudin? (Allyson from New York, NY)
A: Ok, I had that coming. I said that if the Giants upset the Steelers on the road then I would have to give them credit. So here you go. I won't even mention that Pittsburgh's top two running backs didn't play, Santonio Holmes didn't play, or that the game's defining play occurred because a linebacker snapped a ball over a hobbled punter's head and through the endzone. See what a good sport I am! Your Giants will be back to #2 in the RW Power Rankings later this week Allyson. I hope you're happy now.
Q: What are your thoughts on the upcoming offseason for the Dodgers? Manny, Furcal, Blake, Nomar, and Kent are all free agents. The Dodgers hold an option for Penny. There are rumors about the Dodgers going after CC and even trading Martin. What would you do if you were McCourt or Colletti? (Michael from Seattle, WA)
A: First, if I was McCourt, I would have someone build me a moderately sized complex in my backyard. I would fill it with cash comprising 50% of my net worth. I would have a diving board installed. Then I would jump into the cash and swim around like I was Scrooge McDuck. Next, and sorry that I'm going out of order, I would not pick up Penny's option unless you get points for DL stints and bad Septembers. I like Blake and I think we should make a moderate run at him. Nomar and Kent should be gone. Nomar because he's not good at baseball. Kent because he's a jerk and he's old, and he's a jerk. We have to get Furcal back. We all know what a big Manny fan I am, and we'll get there in a second too, but look at how different our lineup was with Furcal back, even a hobbled Furcal. He'll get his form back in the field once he's healthy and he's just a catalyst at the leadoff spot. I know he'll be 31, but he's a switch-hitting leadoff man who bats .290 and has a cannon for an arm at shortstop. You don't let that go. Speaking of you don't let go, Manny. I don't care what he's asking for. If you were willing to give Andruw Jones, Jason Schmidt, Juan Pierre . . . ok, I'm making myself nauseous. Who's a better hitter Manny or Pujols? If we lose Manny, you know what we'll be saying, who's a better hitter, James Loney or Sean Casey? Depressed yet? McCourt will recoup the money he spends on Manny in ticket sales and merchandise. As a baseball move, I'm willing to tolerate 3 years of baller Manny for one year of a pouting Manny at the end. 3 years of Manny, with our pitching staff, I like it. Finally, as to the C.C. talk, I don't want him. He's a very solid pitcher, but I'd rather make a run at Lowe. We cannot give up Martin. And by the way, what's our track record in the recent past with picking up expensive pitchers who weigh 250 lbs. or more? Not good. Sign C.C. up for 3 years on the DL if he comes to Chavez Ravine.
Q: Last week, I was going to comment on your wall that a good proposition bet would be that Troy Smith making an appearance for the Ravens in the Wildcat offense. Too late now. This week I've been thinking about Randle-El, Hines Ward, and Matt Jones. How long until we have an Eric Crouch sighting? The NFL is such a copycat league. If baseball were the same, every NL team would have bat the pitcher 8th the year after LaRussa got that terrible Cards team to the WS. And what's with everyone saying "National Football League" and "ath-a-lete" this year? It's all Ron Jaworski's fault. (Robert from Los Angeles, CA)
A: The Jaworski line wins for comment that made me laugh audibly while reading my emails. I was going to write "laugh out loud," but I'm more of a "haha" guy. I never caught onto LOL. Where to start? I liked this email a lot because it got me to thinking about all of the guys who could star in the NFL right now. 2 QB's in the backfield? Would you care for some Tommie Frazier with a side of Charlie Ward this evening? Those wishbone QB's must be killing themselves that they weren't born ten years later. Instead of having to try and sell themselves as safeties, they could have played in the Wildcat or whatever Baltimore was running. The guy who needs to get the ball more in this line of talk is Brad Smith. Now that's an ath-a-lete. By the way, I think Jim Rome studied Ron Jaworski tape to learn how to turn 2-syllable words into 4-syllable words. The NFL is a copycat league but you'd think that someone would realize that all of the teams to win Super Bowls this decade have had dominant defenses and solid offensive lines, not gimmicky formations. And Robert, I'm sorry to say, but I think Matt Jones might be out for a little while at some point. Apparently you're not supposed to cut up your cocaine in your car when there's a police officer tapping on your window. I'll be right with you officer. I smell a Dave Chappelle sketch coming out of this. Chip, no!
Q: Which division has the more talented QB's, the NFC North or the Big 12? (Gavin from Stillwater, OK)
A: By the way, I love having friends located all around the country so it looks like my readers' base has gone nationwide now. Moving on to the question at hand, this is a tough one. At first I read this as AFC North, and it made me wonder, because after Big Ben you have Ryan Fitzpatrick, Derek Anderson/Brady Quinn, and Joe "Footsteps" Flacco. Then I looked at the NFC North. Kyle Orton, Aaron Rodgers, Gus Frerotte, Dan Orlovsky/Drew Stanton. Looking to the Big 12 you have Colt McCoy, Sam Bradford, Graham Harrell, and Chase Daniel are Rivals.com's Top 4 QB's in the nation, Zac Robinson is at #6, Todd Reesing at #11, Josh Freeman at #20, and Robert Griffin isn't half bad either with a 143.3 rating, neither is Jerrod Johnson at 149.7. You're looking at a few guys who could be starting in the NFL very soon. I'd start Sam Bradford at QB tomorrow if I was Detroit or Minnesota. I know a lot of you think that it's ridiculous to say that current college QB's could make the adjustment and start in the NFL tomorrow, but they're talking about starting Drew Stanton at QB in Detroit. Yes, Michigan State Drew Stanton. You really wouldn't take Sam Bradford over Drew Stanton right now? If I was an NFL GM, I'd take the Big 12 QB's right now over the NFC North's, and if it wasn't for Big Ben, I'd throw the AFC North in there as well.
Q: What do you think of Condoleezza Rice as the potential 49ers Team President? (James from Los Angeles, CA)
A: This is almost as laughable as Mike Singletary doing his best Al Pacino/Samuel Jackson imitations. It's like the 49ers had a meeting and someone said, "hey, let's get the worst Secretary of State in the history of the U.S. and make her our Team President." And, I don't care if you're a Democrat or Republican, I think we can all agree that Condi will go down as the worst Secretary of State to date. Who are they going to get as their GM, Donald Rumsfeld? My fault, Rumsfeld would be the Defensive Coordinator, John Ashcroft would be GM.
Q: How screwed did the Phillies get by having Game 5 played last night and then ultimately suspended? (Everybody in Philly)
A: Very. They lose Hamels for pretty much the balance of the series. They're starting the game off by burning a pinch hitter. Tampa gets David Price to start (he's a starter) and therefore doesn't have to tinker with anything. Why not just postpone that game and play it tonight? How about postponing it 2 nights if you're concerned with the weather? Isn't it better than having a game suspended? This isn't June. These games actually matter. If Philly doesn't win the World Series there will be a riot in that city. For a city that hasn't won a title in any major sport in forever (and that even includes hockey), this would be a ridiculously brutal way to go. What if Philly had won in 5 innings? Great way to end the series. Watching that game in the pouring rain was ridiculous. Good work again Captain Selig. He's the anti-David Stern.
Q: Who's going to be in the BCS Championship game and does UCLA have any chance against USC at the Rose Bowl this year? (Brent from Los Angeles, CA)
A: I'm going to answer this one in stages.
1. Zero chance for UCLA this year. I went to UCLA from '00-'04. We got killed all four years. It was beyond depressing to go to those games. That being said, I think this year's game will be worse than any of the four I went too, and that's saying something. Our team is that bad. I just hope that my UCLA brethren are granted a game time temperature below 90 degrees, because sitting through 3.5 hours of getting killed by your rivals in the Rose Bowl only to sit in 3 hours of traffic is cruel and unusual punishment.
2. Penn State will be in the BCS Championship. The only good thing about this is the betting against the Big Ten potential.
3. The other team will be Texas, Florida or Georgia. Texas is in the driver's seat and is in if they win out, but if Texas loses a game and Florida or Georgia (they play each other Saturday) wins out, they'll have the strength of schedule, especially after the SEC Championship, to get in over the one-loss Big 12 winner, especially after how dominant the SEC has been in the BCS games in the recent past.
4. I'm done rooting against the BCS. It's not going anywhere in my lifetime. Although, I used to think that our country was so backward that we'd never elect a person of color and we're a week away from that possibly coming to fruition. However, I'm with Charles Barkley on this one. I'm still cynical enough to think that latent racism will be a factor in this election. Whether or not it's a big enough factor to make up a 10-point deficit in the polls is yet to be seen. I hope I'm wrong.
5. I think we're 10 years away from having 75 bowl games and the BCS Championship played after the Super Bowl.
Q: Where do you have the Lakers finishing this season? (Brian from Los Angeles, CA)
A: I'll be going into this more with my NBA Preview (I know it'll be coming a game or two into the season, sorry). But, the Lakers have to be the favorites with a healthy Andrew Bynum. Pau slides to the 4. Bynum is anything but soft. I was at the game where he and Shaq got into it a couple of years ago. Bynum dominated last year almost just to spite Kobe. And then there's Kobe. You think he's pissed after how last season ended? He may not be the next MJ, but he definitely has the drive. Add to that the fact that Boston's Big Three are another year older after a season and half when you include all of those Game 7's and I think the Lakers are the ones to beat. I'll put it to you this way, would you want to bet against the Lake Show this year?
There you have it folks. Next month's mailbag we'll have elected a new President, we'll have a World Series champion, and I'll have lost 10 pounds. Thank you to my Mom and Alex for not sending questions about my weight this month.
Q: What do you think about those Giants now Rudin? (Allyson from New York, NY)
A: Ok, I had that coming. I said that if the Giants upset the Steelers on the road then I would have to give them credit. So here you go. I won't even mention that Pittsburgh's top two running backs didn't play, Santonio Holmes didn't play, or that the game's defining play occurred because a linebacker snapped a ball over a hobbled punter's head and through the endzone. See what a good sport I am! Your Giants will be back to #2 in the RW Power Rankings later this week Allyson. I hope you're happy now.
Q: What are your thoughts on the upcoming offseason for the Dodgers? Manny, Furcal, Blake, Nomar, and Kent are all free agents. The Dodgers hold an option for Penny. There are rumors about the Dodgers going after CC and even trading Martin. What would you do if you were McCourt or Colletti? (Michael from Seattle, WA)
A: First, if I was McCourt, I would have someone build me a moderately sized complex in my backyard. I would fill it with cash comprising 50% of my net worth. I would have a diving board installed. Then I would jump into the cash and swim around like I was Scrooge McDuck. Next, and sorry that I'm going out of order, I would not pick up Penny's option unless you get points for DL stints and bad Septembers. I like Blake and I think we should make a moderate run at him. Nomar and Kent should be gone. Nomar because he's not good at baseball. Kent because he's a jerk and he's old, and he's a jerk. We have to get Furcal back. We all know what a big Manny fan I am, and we'll get there in a second too, but look at how different our lineup was with Furcal back, even a hobbled Furcal. He'll get his form back in the field once he's healthy and he's just a catalyst at the leadoff spot. I know he'll be 31, but he's a switch-hitting leadoff man who bats .290 and has a cannon for an arm at shortstop. You don't let that go. Speaking of you don't let go, Manny. I don't care what he's asking for. If you were willing to give Andruw Jones, Jason Schmidt, Juan Pierre . . . ok, I'm making myself nauseous. Who's a better hitter Manny or Pujols? If we lose Manny, you know what we'll be saying, who's a better hitter, James Loney or Sean Casey? Depressed yet? McCourt will recoup the money he spends on Manny in ticket sales and merchandise. As a baseball move, I'm willing to tolerate 3 years of baller Manny for one year of a pouting Manny at the end. 3 years of Manny, with our pitching staff, I like it. Finally, as to the C.C. talk, I don't want him. He's a very solid pitcher, but I'd rather make a run at Lowe. We cannot give up Martin. And by the way, what's our track record in the recent past with picking up expensive pitchers who weigh 250 lbs. or more? Not good. Sign C.C. up for 3 years on the DL if he comes to Chavez Ravine.
Q: Last week, I was going to comment on your wall that a good proposition bet would be that Troy Smith making an appearance for the Ravens in the Wildcat offense. Too late now. This week I've been thinking about Randle-El, Hines Ward, and Matt Jones. How long until we have an Eric Crouch sighting? The NFL is such a copycat league. If baseball were the same, every NL team would have bat the pitcher 8th the year after LaRussa got that terrible Cards team to the WS. And what's with everyone saying "National Football League" and "ath-a-lete" this year? It's all Ron Jaworski's fault. (Robert from Los Angeles, CA)
A: The Jaworski line wins for comment that made me laugh audibly while reading my emails. I was going to write "laugh out loud," but I'm more of a "haha" guy. I never caught onto LOL. Where to start? I liked this email a lot because it got me to thinking about all of the guys who could star in the NFL right now. 2 QB's in the backfield? Would you care for some Tommie Frazier with a side of Charlie Ward this evening? Those wishbone QB's must be killing themselves that they weren't born ten years later. Instead of having to try and sell themselves as safeties, they could have played in the Wildcat or whatever Baltimore was running. The guy who needs to get the ball more in this line of talk is Brad Smith. Now that's an ath-a-lete. By the way, I think Jim Rome studied Ron Jaworski tape to learn how to turn 2-syllable words into 4-syllable words. The NFL is a copycat league but you'd think that someone would realize that all of the teams to win Super Bowls this decade have had dominant defenses and solid offensive lines, not gimmicky formations. And Robert, I'm sorry to say, but I think Matt Jones might be out for a little while at some point. Apparently you're not supposed to cut up your cocaine in your car when there's a police officer tapping on your window. I'll be right with you officer. I smell a Dave Chappelle sketch coming out of this. Chip, no!
Q: Which division has the more talented QB's, the NFC North or the Big 12? (Gavin from Stillwater, OK)
A: By the way, I love having friends located all around the country so it looks like my readers' base has gone nationwide now. Moving on to the question at hand, this is a tough one. At first I read this as AFC North, and it made me wonder, because after Big Ben you have Ryan Fitzpatrick, Derek Anderson/Brady Quinn, and Joe "Footsteps" Flacco. Then I looked at the NFC North. Kyle Orton, Aaron Rodgers, Gus Frerotte, Dan Orlovsky/Drew Stanton. Looking to the Big 12 you have Colt McCoy, Sam Bradford, Graham Harrell, and Chase Daniel are Rivals.com's Top 4 QB's in the nation, Zac Robinson is at #6, Todd Reesing at #11, Josh Freeman at #20, and Robert Griffin isn't half bad either with a 143.3 rating, neither is Jerrod Johnson at 149.7. You're looking at a few guys who could be starting in the NFL very soon. I'd start Sam Bradford at QB tomorrow if I was Detroit or Minnesota. I know a lot of you think that it's ridiculous to say that current college QB's could make the adjustment and start in the NFL tomorrow, but they're talking about starting Drew Stanton at QB in Detroit. Yes, Michigan State Drew Stanton. You really wouldn't take Sam Bradford over Drew Stanton right now? If I was an NFL GM, I'd take the Big 12 QB's right now over the NFC North's, and if it wasn't for Big Ben, I'd throw the AFC North in there as well.
Q: What do you think of Condoleezza Rice as the potential 49ers Team President? (James from Los Angeles, CA)
A: This is almost as laughable as Mike Singletary doing his best Al Pacino/Samuel Jackson imitations. It's like the 49ers had a meeting and someone said, "hey, let's get the worst Secretary of State in the history of the U.S. and make her our Team President." And, I don't care if you're a Democrat or Republican, I think we can all agree that Condi will go down as the worst Secretary of State to date. Who are they going to get as their GM, Donald Rumsfeld? My fault, Rumsfeld would be the Defensive Coordinator, John Ashcroft would be GM.
Q: How screwed did the Phillies get by having Game 5 played last night and then ultimately suspended? (Everybody in Philly)
A: Very. They lose Hamels for pretty much the balance of the series. They're starting the game off by burning a pinch hitter. Tampa gets David Price to start (he's a starter) and therefore doesn't have to tinker with anything. Why not just postpone that game and play it tonight? How about postponing it 2 nights if you're concerned with the weather? Isn't it better than having a game suspended? This isn't June. These games actually matter. If Philly doesn't win the World Series there will be a riot in that city. For a city that hasn't won a title in any major sport in forever (and that even includes hockey), this would be a ridiculously brutal way to go. What if Philly had won in 5 innings? Great way to end the series. Watching that game in the pouring rain was ridiculous. Good work again Captain Selig. He's the anti-David Stern.
Q: Who's going to be in the BCS Championship game and does UCLA have any chance against USC at the Rose Bowl this year? (Brent from Los Angeles, CA)
A: I'm going to answer this one in stages.
1. Zero chance for UCLA this year. I went to UCLA from '00-'04. We got killed all four years. It was beyond depressing to go to those games. That being said, I think this year's game will be worse than any of the four I went too, and that's saying something. Our team is that bad. I just hope that my UCLA brethren are granted a game time temperature below 90 degrees, because sitting through 3.5 hours of getting killed by your rivals in the Rose Bowl only to sit in 3 hours of traffic is cruel and unusual punishment.
2. Penn State will be in the BCS Championship. The only good thing about this is the betting against the Big Ten potential.
3. The other team will be Texas, Florida or Georgia. Texas is in the driver's seat and is in if they win out, but if Texas loses a game and Florida or Georgia (they play each other Saturday) wins out, they'll have the strength of schedule, especially after the SEC Championship, to get in over the one-loss Big 12 winner, especially after how dominant the SEC has been in the BCS games in the recent past.
4. I'm done rooting against the BCS. It's not going anywhere in my lifetime. Although, I used to think that our country was so backward that we'd never elect a person of color and we're a week away from that possibly coming to fruition. However, I'm with Charles Barkley on this one. I'm still cynical enough to think that latent racism will be a factor in this election. Whether or not it's a big enough factor to make up a 10-point deficit in the polls is yet to be seen. I hope I'm wrong.
5. I think we're 10 years away from having 75 bowl games and the BCS Championship played after the Super Bowl.
Q: Where do you have the Lakers finishing this season? (Brian from Los Angeles, CA)
A: I'll be going into this more with my NBA Preview (I know it'll be coming a game or two into the season, sorry). But, the Lakers have to be the favorites with a healthy Andrew Bynum. Pau slides to the 4. Bynum is anything but soft. I was at the game where he and Shaq got into it a couple of years ago. Bynum dominated last year almost just to spite Kobe. And then there's Kobe. You think he's pissed after how last season ended? He may not be the next MJ, but he definitely has the drive. Add to that the fact that Boston's Big Three are another year older after a season and half when you include all of those Game 7's and I think the Lakers are the ones to beat. I'll put it to you this way, would you want to bet against the Lake Show this year?
There you have it folks. Next month's mailbag we'll have elected a new President, we'll have a World Series champion, and I'll have lost 10 pounds. Thank you to my Mom and Alex for not sending questions about my weight this month.
I will not be satisfied until you rank the Giants at their deserved NUMBER ONE position and those lovely G-Men win the SuperBowl once again. That's all for now. Thank you and have a great day.
Reply to this