Mailbag - September Edition
Does anyone else wake up and realize what a historic time we're living in right now? No, I'm not talking about Barack Obama's run for president. Two Supreme Court vacancies are the only reasons why voting for president will matter. Our economy is on the verge of a recession, the likes of which only people in their late eighties have witnessed. And by on the verge of, I mean, we're in it. Wachovia followed in Washington Mutual's footsteps today and went down 90%. No that's not a misprint. 90%. Ok, on to the mailbag. I promise there's only one more non-sports reference.
Q: Did you watch USC's loss to Oregon State? That was unreal. Is USC overrated or did Oregon State just play a perfect game? (John from Santa Monica, CA)
A: I think it was a little bit of both. I'd hesitate to call Oregon State's performance perfect. Barring that late USC turnover, I think the Trojans would have pulled it out. USC is overrated because people see Carroll and think back to the championships earlier in the decade, but the Trojans will still be able to beat my Bruins by 30 this year.
On a happier note, I was at a sports bar that USC young alumni were hosting a party at. So it was me and maybe two other people rooting on the Beavers and about 350 people screaming for the Trojans. Watching USC lose in that atmosphere was just great. There were guys named Chet with popped collars, girls dressed for a USC frat party, and enough khakis to film a Dockers commercial. Let's just say that when bartenders order up celebratory shots when they have no affiliation with the winning school, it says a lot about the people who were there at the bar. I'm just sad that Vegas won't be setting any more lines like USC -24.5 at Oregon State.
Q: I'm a Mets fan displaced in L.A. I'm not old enough to remember when we won the World Series. How bad was the decision to bring back Minaya as GM? I hate life. The Knicks, the Mets, and the Jets. Life is not good. (Brandon from Los Angeles, CA)
A: First off, I hate your Mets. Because of you, my Dodgers are playing the Cubs in the NLDS instead of the Phillies. We can absolutely beat the Phillies. I'm going to be finding some billy-goats for good luck so we have a chance against the Cubs. I do like that their Game 1 starter is a guy who my fantasy league referred to as Dumpster for years. So that's good.
As to your question about Minaya, the decision to bring him back was atrocious. I don't think it was Matt Millen extension bad. Millen never did anything. Minaya was a good executive years ago. I equate the Minaya extension to the Phil Fulmer extension down in Tennessee. Here's a note to anyone who has hiring power. If someone did something great 10 years ago but has been awful ever since, you don't hire him and you definitely don't give him an extension. Unfortunately for Minaya, Isaiah Thomas is no longer in town to take the focus off of him for worst GM in New York. He's got a ton of money at his disposal and they choke every year. Good luck in the next half decade.
Q: Did you watch the Chris Rock special? I thought it was pretty lousy. His past specials were much better. (Craig from Woodland Hills, CA)
A: I have to disagree in part. Before I get to the CR special, it came on after the Mosley/Mayorga fight. The fight was pretty average and Sugar Shane looked pretty unimpressive until the 12th round. Although the 7th round was pretty good, just watch the KO in the 12th when they replay the fight. Going back to the CR special, I think there were a few problems with it. First, the splicing between 3 different venues idea was horrible. Whoever came up with that one should be fired. As my friend Alex said, it just made it seem too scripted. Plus, it gave me a headache. Second, Chris Rock isn't going to top Bring the Pain or Bigger and Blacker. Expecting him to do otherwise it like asking for another Wooden era as a Bruin fan. Finally, he's getting older. A 42-year old Chris Rock making dirty jokes looks a little different than a 27-year old Chris Rock making the same ones. To quote him, "Pookie was a long time ago."
That all being said, the special was still hilarious. My friends who came over for the fight stayed to watch it and we were dying pretty much the entire time. It was especially funny when he said that he's happy that his black friends have a bunch of white friends now and his white friends all have one black friend. It was funny because of the bunch of us sitting there watching, my friend Delbert was the only black guy and he started looking around the room and laughing. My favorite line occurred when he said it's just mean for skinny girls to make fun of fat girls. Imagine them sitting around and saying, "look at these big b****es. Do they free-base gravy? Food is not your friend." Finally, the shots of the crowd were funny but in a way that made you a bit uncomfortable to be laughing. To quote Delbert when a fellow from the Johannesburg, South Africa crowd was shown on camera laughing, "It's just teeth and gums." All in all, the Chris Rock special was highly funny and definitely worth watching.
Q: Who's the favorite to win the BCS Championship? Oklahoma's looking good but is it just going to be another year where some SEC team comes in and kills whoever they're playing in the title game? (James from Los Angeles, CA)
A: Oklahoma is in the driver's seat. Their offense is scoring at will, but I'm waiting to see what happens when they play a real team. No, I don't count TCU as a real team. I couldn't have been more wrong about Georgia. Who knew that they had no defense? Georgia's schedule will keep them in the hunt, but it won't matter if they can't stop anyone. I can't make the case for Alabama because Nick Saban is a jerk. I think a couple of dark horses to watch are Missouri and South Florida. South Florida will get some respect because they've been in this situation before with a killer defense and Missouri has the Heisman winner playing QB for them which never hurts. I'll come back to this question in a month so I don't make a fool of myself, again.
Q: Who won the Presidential Debate?
A: I got this question from a lot of people, so I didn't want to credit just one. I don't really think there was a winner. Obama supporters thought he won. McCain supporters thought he won. That's because it was horribly mediated by Jim Lehrer. Obama never answered a question. He'd repeat the question and then talk about whatever he felt like talking about. He turned a question about Russia into an answer about the economy and taxes. And then there was McCain. He never looked at Obama, kept interrupting, and is probably a 2 to 1 chance to physically attack Barack Obama in one of the next debates. These guys were never reined in and pretty much talked about nothing. I'm excited to watch the next one, but I'm even more excited about the Vice Presidential debate. Sarah Palin is a complete idiot. That's not an overstatement. They don't even let her talk to the media for weeks at a time. She can't put two sentences together, even when she's prepped. Tina Fey's impersonation is spot on. Did you see Palin during the Katie Couric interview? Her answer to the question about Russia was hilarious. It's like she was an ESL student and this was her second class since entering the country. How can this lady be a 72-year old's VP? She's legitimately scary.
Q: Did you see that Lance Armstrong is coming back? (Brett from Tarzana, CA).
A: Yes I did. I couldn't really care less about cycling. 80% of those guys are on EPO. I love how people are surprised when someone gets outed. Almost as surprising as two Jamaican hurdlers testing positive for steroids. But when it comes to Lance, I actually pay attention to cycling. Why? Because it just pisses the French off to have an American win their race, every year. Go to France and wear a Livestrong band. It's great.
Q: Can we mention the Dodgers yet now that they have clinched? Do they have a chance to get to the World Series? (Brian from Culver City, CA)
A: Yes, we can mention the Dodgers by name now. I'll be at Game 4 (if necessary) and couldn't be more excited. I would have MUCH rather seen the Phillies than the Cubs but with Manny, anything's possible. I think Chad Billingsley will be a big factor in our success and the bullpen needs to be nails. The NL really is wide open as opposed to the AL where the Angels are the clear cut favorites. Momentum will be a huge factor in the NL, which I think gives Milwaukee an edge in their series, despite the fact that C.C. will not be starting Game 1. I'm not overly optimistic about the Dodgers' chances, but I do have NLCS tickets, so I'm not completely mailing it in as a fan.
Q: Your mother wanted me to ask when you're going to lose some weight. (Alex from Los Angeles, CA)
A: Thanks Alex. With friends like you, well, you get the picture. My Mom is actually giving me a free pass on my weight lately. I'm down with a cold and the rotator cuff injury is getting me major sympathy points because I don't sleep anymore (any time I fall asleep I roll onto the shoulder and wake up). I'll tell you what. You and I can go on Biggest Loser and see what happens.
Q: Who's the #1 team in the NFL after Dallas went down at home to Washington? Is it the Giants? (Everybody in New York)
A: Good luck telling a Giants fan that they're not supporting the best team in the NFL. But if you look at it objectively, the Giants still aren't the best team in their division. If the lines came out tomorrow, Philly and Dallas would still be favored over the G-Men on a neutral field. And I'm not convinced that the Giants are going to win when they have to go to Washington. Excuse me for not being impressed by an almost loss at home to Cincy, eking by Washington at home, and spanking the utterly useless Rams.
It's tough for me to make the case for a 2-2 Philly team but they were down to using Lorenzo Booker at times at RB last night. When they get Brian Westbrook back they'll be a top-3 team again. As for now, I think you have to make the Tennessee Titans #1 in the RW Power Rankings this week. Their defense is the best in the league and their running game controls the ball and moves the chains. Kerry Collins is good enough not to mess up and don't forget that Brad Johnson and Trent Dilfer have won Super Bowls this decade. Tennessee is quietly 4-0 and hasn't given up 20 points yet this season. They're averaging a 25-11 victory a week. I like this Titans team, especially at 16-1 to win the Super Bowl entering the weekend.
That's all I've got. Shana Tova to you all. That means Happy New Year.
Q: Did you watch USC's loss to Oregon State? That was unreal. Is USC overrated or did Oregon State just play a perfect game? (John from Santa Monica, CA)
A: I think it was a little bit of both. I'd hesitate to call Oregon State's performance perfect. Barring that late USC turnover, I think the Trojans would have pulled it out. USC is overrated because people see Carroll and think back to the championships earlier in the decade, but the Trojans will still be able to beat my Bruins by 30 this year.
On a happier note, I was at a sports bar that USC young alumni were hosting a party at. So it was me and maybe two other people rooting on the Beavers and about 350 people screaming for the Trojans. Watching USC lose in that atmosphere was just great. There were guys named Chet with popped collars, girls dressed for a USC frat party, and enough khakis to film a Dockers commercial. Let's just say that when bartenders order up celebratory shots when they have no affiliation with the winning school, it says a lot about the people who were there at the bar. I'm just sad that Vegas won't be setting any more lines like USC -24.5 at Oregon State.
Q: I'm a Mets fan displaced in L.A. I'm not old enough to remember when we won the World Series. How bad was the decision to bring back Minaya as GM? I hate life. The Knicks, the Mets, and the Jets. Life is not good. (Brandon from Los Angeles, CA)
A: First off, I hate your Mets. Because of you, my Dodgers are playing the Cubs in the NLDS instead of the Phillies. We can absolutely beat the Phillies. I'm going to be finding some billy-goats for good luck so we have a chance against the Cubs. I do like that their Game 1 starter is a guy who my fantasy league referred to as Dumpster for years. So that's good.
As to your question about Minaya, the decision to bring him back was atrocious. I don't think it was Matt Millen extension bad. Millen never did anything. Minaya was a good executive years ago. I equate the Minaya extension to the Phil Fulmer extension down in Tennessee. Here's a note to anyone who has hiring power. If someone did something great 10 years ago but has been awful ever since, you don't hire him and you definitely don't give him an extension. Unfortunately for Minaya, Isaiah Thomas is no longer in town to take the focus off of him for worst GM in New York. He's got a ton of money at his disposal and they choke every year. Good luck in the next half decade.
Q: Did you watch the Chris Rock special? I thought it was pretty lousy. His past specials were much better. (Craig from Woodland Hills, CA)
A: I have to disagree in part. Before I get to the CR special, it came on after the Mosley/Mayorga fight. The fight was pretty average and Sugar Shane looked pretty unimpressive until the 12th round. Although the 7th round was pretty good, just watch the KO in the 12th when they replay the fight. Going back to the CR special, I think there were a few problems with it. First, the splicing between 3 different venues idea was horrible. Whoever came up with that one should be fired. As my friend Alex said, it just made it seem too scripted. Plus, it gave me a headache. Second, Chris Rock isn't going to top Bring the Pain or Bigger and Blacker. Expecting him to do otherwise it like asking for another Wooden era as a Bruin fan. Finally, he's getting older. A 42-year old Chris Rock making dirty jokes looks a little different than a 27-year old Chris Rock making the same ones. To quote him, "Pookie was a long time ago."
That all being said, the special was still hilarious. My friends who came over for the fight stayed to watch it and we were dying pretty much the entire time. It was especially funny when he said that he's happy that his black friends have a bunch of white friends now and his white friends all have one black friend. It was funny because of the bunch of us sitting there watching, my friend Delbert was the only black guy and he started looking around the room and laughing. My favorite line occurred when he said it's just mean for skinny girls to make fun of fat girls. Imagine them sitting around and saying, "look at these big b****es. Do they free-base gravy? Food is not your friend." Finally, the shots of the crowd were funny but in a way that made you a bit uncomfortable to be laughing. To quote Delbert when a fellow from the Johannesburg, South Africa crowd was shown on camera laughing, "It's just teeth and gums." All in all, the Chris Rock special was highly funny and definitely worth watching.
Q: Who's the favorite to win the BCS Championship? Oklahoma's looking good but is it just going to be another year where some SEC team comes in and kills whoever they're playing in the title game? (James from Los Angeles, CA)
A: Oklahoma is in the driver's seat. Their offense is scoring at will, but I'm waiting to see what happens when they play a real team. No, I don't count TCU as a real team. I couldn't have been more wrong about Georgia. Who knew that they had no defense? Georgia's schedule will keep them in the hunt, but it won't matter if they can't stop anyone. I can't make the case for Alabama because Nick Saban is a jerk. I think a couple of dark horses to watch are Missouri and South Florida. South Florida will get some respect because they've been in this situation before with a killer defense and Missouri has the Heisman winner playing QB for them which never hurts. I'll come back to this question in a month so I don't make a fool of myself, again.
Q: Who won the Presidential Debate?
A: I got this question from a lot of people, so I didn't want to credit just one. I don't really think there was a winner. Obama supporters thought he won. McCain supporters thought he won. That's because it was horribly mediated by Jim Lehrer. Obama never answered a question. He'd repeat the question and then talk about whatever he felt like talking about. He turned a question about Russia into an answer about the economy and taxes. And then there was McCain. He never looked at Obama, kept interrupting, and is probably a 2 to 1 chance to physically attack Barack Obama in one of the next debates. These guys were never reined in and pretty much talked about nothing. I'm excited to watch the next one, but I'm even more excited about the Vice Presidential debate. Sarah Palin is a complete idiot. That's not an overstatement. They don't even let her talk to the media for weeks at a time. She can't put two sentences together, even when she's prepped. Tina Fey's impersonation is spot on. Did you see Palin during the Katie Couric interview? Her answer to the question about Russia was hilarious. It's like she was an ESL student and this was her second class since entering the country. How can this lady be a 72-year old's VP? She's legitimately scary.
Q: Did you see that Lance Armstrong is coming back? (Brett from Tarzana, CA).
A: Yes I did. I couldn't really care less about cycling. 80% of those guys are on EPO. I love how people are surprised when someone gets outed. Almost as surprising as two Jamaican hurdlers testing positive for steroids. But when it comes to Lance, I actually pay attention to cycling. Why? Because it just pisses the French off to have an American win their race, every year. Go to France and wear a Livestrong band. It's great.
Q: Can we mention the Dodgers yet now that they have clinched? Do they have a chance to get to the World Series? (Brian from Culver City, CA)
A: Yes, we can mention the Dodgers by name now. I'll be at Game 4 (if necessary) and couldn't be more excited. I would have MUCH rather seen the Phillies than the Cubs but with Manny, anything's possible. I think Chad Billingsley will be a big factor in our success and the bullpen needs to be nails. The NL really is wide open as opposed to the AL where the Angels are the clear cut favorites. Momentum will be a huge factor in the NL, which I think gives Milwaukee an edge in their series, despite the fact that C.C. will not be starting Game 1. I'm not overly optimistic about the Dodgers' chances, but I do have NLCS tickets, so I'm not completely mailing it in as a fan.
Q: Your mother wanted me to ask when you're going to lose some weight. (Alex from Los Angeles, CA)
A: Thanks Alex. With friends like you, well, you get the picture. My Mom is actually giving me a free pass on my weight lately. I'm down with a cold and the rotator cuff injury is getting me major sympathy points because I don't sleep anymore (any time I fall asleep I roll onto the shoulder and wake up). I'll tell you what. You and I can go on Biggest Loser and see what happens.
Q: Who's the #1 team in the NFL after Dallas went down at home to Washington? Is it the Giants? (Everybody in New York)
A: Good luck telling a Giants fan that they're not supporting the best team in the NFL. But if you look at it objectively, the Giants still aren't the best team in their division. If the lines came out tomorrow, Philly and Dallas would still be favored over the G-Men on a neutral field. And I'm not convinced that the Giants are going to win when they have to go to Washington. Excuse me for not being impressed by an almost loss at home to Cincy, eking by Washington at home, and spanking the utterly useless Rams.
It's tough for me to make the case for a 2-2 Philly team but they were down to using Lorenzo Booker at times at RB last night. When they get Brian Westbrook back they'll be a top-3 team again. As for now, I think you have to make the Tennessee Titans #1 in the RW Power Rankings this week. Their defense is the best in the league and their running game controls the ball and moves the chains. Kerry Collins is good enough not to mess up and don't forget that Brad Johnson and Trent Dilfer have won Super Bowls this decade. Tennessee is quietly 4-0 and hasn't given up 20 points yet this season. They're averaging a 25-11 victory a week. I like this Titans team, especially at 16-1 to win the Super Bowl entering the weekend.
That's all I've got. Shana Tova to you all. That means Happy New Year.
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