Bad news for me means good news for you.  I'm home with an ear infection that my doctor called "pretty ugly" so you get an extra RW column this week.  My gift to you:

Well, it's safe to say that that wasn't expected.  How many times do you think Rich Neuheisel said, "Are you kidding me?  How am I supposed to win when we having a better chance suiting me up out there?" in the first half.  Even in the fourth quarter I thought we had no chance of winning.  Then, Craft goes John Elway on us and leads the Bruins down the field in less than 90 seconds for a go-ahead TD.  Are you kidding me?  After I high-fived my Dad, I noted that there were still 27 seconds on the clock, enough time for Tennessee to come down, tie the game, send the game to OT, and oh by the way, kill my under, which I didn't book because we don't condone gambling.  What happened next just baffles me.  Why would you kick a ball that gives your opponent its start at the 45-yard line.  You may as well kick it out of bounds if you're going to do that.  Then?  Prevent defense.  My all-time least favorite thing in the world.  Has it ever worked?  Why do teams keep doing it?  If the other team is on its own 15-yard line with 8 seconds left I'd be okay, but the 45-yard line with 27 seconds left?  Did anyone have any doubt that Tennessee would get the ball into field-goal range?  So sure enough Tennessee "drove" 24 yards to set up the game-tying field goal.

Then overtime happened.  UCLA moved about an inch, which Lou Holtz said before the game should be celebrated if you're the Bruins.  Seriously, Lou Holtz, through all of that excess saliva, said that UCLA should celebrate if it gained six inches.  UCLA kicked a field goal and Tennessee took over.  I would not have been shocked a bit if Tennessee scored a TD on the first play.  UCLA stopped blitzing for some reason but thank heavens that Phillip Fullmer is running the show for Tennessee because for some reason, Tennessee was settling for a field goal attempt with three conservative calls.  You know what happened next.  I got to go to sleep a happy Bruin.  Final note:  Going off of the post-game interview, Craft needs to work on his English.  Hopefully he speaks whatever his first language is a bit better.

Here's how I know it was a huge win and a great game.  I got over 15 different people text messaging me during and after the game.  15!  I didn't know I had 15 friends let alone 15 people that would text message me about a football game.  UCLA went from an also-ran in the Pac-10 to a bowl team.  Now all of a sudden games like Fresno State at home and Oregon on the road seem winnable as opposed to automatic losses.  Tennessee on the other hand gets to play Florida, Auburn, Georgia, Alabama, and South Carolina.  Do they win any of those games?  How much do you think they want to rewind time and undo Fullmer's contract extension.  He's like the anti-Bruce Pearl and he looks like he definitely could have coached one of the bad guy teams in Remember the Titans.  Either that or he's Fred Thompson's long lost brother.  Long story short, I'm a happy Bruin . . . and it's not even basketball season yet.

Here are some other thoughts as I sit here on my couch instead of in class.

Sarah Palin is the gift that keeps on giving.  Not only is she a woman-hating woman . . .  no abortion even in the cases of rape and incest?  Seriously?  Ms. Palin, here's your formal invitation to the 20th and 21st Centuries.  Feel free to come along.  Next, the Bridge to Nowhere.  Good work.  Finally, a 17-year old daughter who is now pregnant.  Congrats to the Republican party.  You're VP candidate is like Rev. Jeremiah Wright on crack as far as campaigns go.  Enjoy!

The NFL Fantasy File ads are amazing.  Here are my top 3 picks:

1.  Chris Chambers - (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEKlzwi_G5Y)

2.  Laurence Maroney - (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F2d7M4Lbmw&feature=related)

(Note:  I did not spell Maroney's name wrong.)

3.  Mason Crosby - (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sI7vFv9REI)

(Note 2:  Something's weird when I post links to Youtube so I have to do it in the parenthesis.  Sorry.)

I'm watching the History channel.  I have been for the last few hours.  Pablo Escobar:  not nice.  Russian mafia:  even worse.  Your lesson:  Don't mess with the Russian mob.  I'd rather be Bruce Willis in the first 10 minutes of Die Hard With a Vengeance than have a Russian mafioso after me.

As a postscript to UCLA's win, I feel obligated to post this link to an article that my player-hating friend Jesse sent me:  seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2004147443_rboverview27m0.html . . . Moral of the story, college coaches are like politicians.  We don't care how they go about their business, just get the job done.  From a moral standpoint, I actually feel that way toward my politicians.  Give me a fornicating Bill Clinton any day of the week.  1 person's anguish and 250 million people's gain?  Sounds good to me.  From a college football standpoint, let's just say I hope Neuheisel has improved his ways.  I still have UCLA basketball keeping me happy.  I don't need the football team to win only to be shoved into the national spotlight for hiring criminals to be football players.  I just want a clean football program, and to beat USC every now and again.

Davydenko and Muller are wearing matching necklaces that make me wonder if I'm watching womens tennis. 

Thank you USA Network for not blowing the suspense out of the water in the aforementioned by showing the court being taken apart live before showing us the end of the 4th set tiebreak on delay, which you promised you would do when Muller was up 2 sets to 1 with the players tied 10 to 10 in the fourth set tiebreak.  What idiots. 

No more Jemele Hill as the First and 10 guest.  Give me Michael Smith. 

Good job to the government for doing in 2008 what it was supposed to do in 2006.  Sorry New Orleans.

Boo Paul Azinger for not putting Rocco Mediate on the Ryder Cup team in favor of Hunter Mahan who basically called the tournament a joke.

I know Pacquiao is moving up from 135 to 147 lbs. to face De La Hoya, but a 3.5 to 1 underdog?  De La Hoya looked unimpressive at best against Steve Forbes, a guy whose comfortable weight is right around Pacquiao's.  I think we can all agree that the Pac Man packs more of a punch than Forbes.  I like De La Hoya to win a decision against Pacquiao, but not at 3.5 to 1.

I just flipped to PTI and Tony made my Rocco Mediate point.  Damn it.

Two guys go for the cycle in one day?

Tiger Woods needs to always be wearing a hat if there's a camera around.  Always.

There's a bad hurricane and someone was critically wounded by multiple gunshot wounds.  Is this the sports page or the Metro section?

Shh . . . the Dodgers won a couple of games.  Don't.  Ruin.  The mojo.  Everybody stand very still.