My Grandpa Herb (real name William Hariton, when I was three years old, I started calling him Herb and he started calling me Henry) died five years ago today.  I think of him often but of course more so today.  This is the first time since he passed that a good boxing card was scheduled on the date of his death.  I can promise you that as I sit and watch by myself tonight, I'll be thinking about the smile that it would have put on Herb's face.  Good luck to the fighters. 

Instead of recounting some of my memories, I've decided to post the eulogy that I delivered.  It was how I felt at the time, but more importantly, Herb used to always kid and ask me for my "speech."  He would always badger me to give him my eulogy that I'd be delivering at his funeral.  Well Herb, here it is.  I hope you like it.  Love, ER, a.k.a Henry.


"Get busy living or get busy dying."  These are the words uttered by Andy Dufresne, played by Tim Robbins. to Red, played by Morgan Freeman, in The Shawshank Redemption.  Grandpa, Paca Bill, Mr. Hariton, Sir, Cowboy, Herbert, Herby, Herb, Buffy, Grandfather.  However you referred to him, I gave him the name Herb, he was a man who got busy living until he was no longer capable and then some.  What was great about Herb was that he taught me to do the same.  So many of the things I love to do, I did first with Herb.  I bowled for my first time with him.  I went to the horse races for my first time with him.  I went to a movie for my first time with him.  I played golf for my first time with him.  Keep that in mind when you see me in the Open.  I say that because I learned from being with Herb that every day was anything can happen day.  We could go to Marineland.  We could go ice-skating where the L.A. Kings were.  We could do anything.

Herb was no ordinary person.  He was mysterious to say the least.  I doubt that many people here know what he did for a living.  With Herb you could go to the races and end up with him in the Winner's Circle being photographed.  You could go somewhere and have some person none of us has ever seen before pay for our meal or entry to the racetrack.  You could be sitting at home in the summer of 1993, have Herb come over, tell you to put on your suit and get in the car.  You would ask him where you were going with no reply from him.  Then, an hour and a half later, you could be at the Sports Arena in San Diego for ESPN fight nights.  You could help Herb practice a speech for him, have him open the trunk to find the WBC belt and ring then go into the ESPN trailer.  You could then sit ringside for the fight after having met Michael Carbajal, the Light Flyweight Champion of the world, and Kim Welshons, a notable San Diego journalist.  Then you sit there with a rowdy crowd after a fighter was disqualified for low-blows and listen as yours and his names are announced over the loudspeaker.  You have no idea what was said, just that you are now being escorted into the ring by bikini girls to meet the ring announcer and Michael Carbajal.  Next thing you know, Herb is giving a speech, and you're holding the title belt for a couple of minutes before you present it to the champion amidst flashes from the cameras.  Then, you leave the arena, go to a little bar and grill and watch yourself on ESPN with Herb on ESPN's west coast delay.  Just an example of what can happen with Herb.

Honestly, I have no idea how things like that day happen.  Then, you go over to his house and see his photo album, which I urge all of you to see at Grandma Alayne's house.  You see pictures of what can only be described as his island.  You see him with Bo Derek, President Reagan, Muhammad Ali, the list goes on and on.  This was an extraordinary man.

Despite all of these stories, and I'm sure you'll hear them all or you might be able to add one of your own, I have one lasting memory of a one-of-a-kind man.  We played golf one day when I was about eight at Rancho on "The Big Course."  I hit the ball on the ninth hole onto the alternate green in two but couldn't find my ball.  After looking for several minutes, Herb walked up to the hole and pulled out my ball.  Whether he planted an identical ball or not I'll never know.  But, after that shot, a rare hailstorm started.  Everybody headed for the clubhouse, but not us.  I wanted to finish the round.  Herb said OK.  The manager kicked us off the course but as I'm sure you can guess if you know Herb, he wasn't having any of that and we played on, by ourselves.  We played and played and then on the 17th hole, a hole facing the sunset, the hail stopped and all that was left was an orange sunset in our faces.  I'll never forget Herb's silhouette teeing off at that moment.  I write about it in papers for school as the most beautiful thing I've seen and I tell it to you now.  Never have you seen anything like it.  I know I haven't and I know I never will.

The last thing I told him in his room, about half an hour after he had passed, was that he would never die because I would always carry him with me.  He is alive in so many places and in all of the faces I see before me now.  He showed us how to get busy living and there will truly be another like him.

My most important lesson learned from Herb was that of always having pride in myself.  Never was there a bigger compliment than hearing the words "looking sharp" coming from Herb.  He would not walk with a walker until I begged him three days before he entered the hospital for the last time when I took him to the casino.  He was too proud.  Only because I begged him did he use the walker even though he knew how painful it would be.  Boy did he love that day.  I was so happy that I could give him one last day playing poker.

The last few months were tough because I did not see in him that normal will to fight, to go on, that he had always displayed.  He's been told several times in the past few decades that his time was up, but he never listened.  He was going to go on his own terms.  He was going to choose when he would get busy dying.  I'm convinced that he would not have had his life any other way because we all know, that if Herb wanted something done, it got done.

The last thing I want to mention about Herb is the love he had for the world of boxing.  He loved the sport and he loved the people.  For those of you who know boxing, you know that there has not been a great heavyweight fight in several years, not until Saturday, June 21, 2003 that is, the date of Herb's death.  Some may call it coincidence but I swear to you that this past Saturday, Lennox Lewis and Vitali Klitschko fought for Herb.  They got people excited for classic heavyweight boxing for the first time in longer than I can remember.  None of this hugging and occasional punching stuff, but heart filled athletes filled with pride fighting for the title.  I find no coincidence in the fact that the fight was for the same WBC that Herb was affiliated with, the fact that it took place in L.A. for the first time in 45 years, or in the fact that the last spectacle that Herb witnessed in his room was the show that those fighters put on for him.  I don't know how Herb got things done, but he did.

However, I do know why he got things done.  He did everything for our amusement and betterment.  He did everything because he loved each and every one of us.  He showed me how to live life, to enjoy myself, and how to love and cherish and take care of those most important to me.  That is what I will always carry in me, the will to get busy living because that is what living is.

I'll finish with another quote from The Shawshank Redemption that Red utters when Andy escapes from Shawshank after being wrongly imprisoned there, much in the same way that Herb has felt like a prisoner these past few months because he was unable to continue living as he wanted.  When thinking about that I think like Red that "I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged.  Their feathers are just too bright.  And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice.  Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone.  I guess I just miss my friend."